DetailsThe poem, its numbers, and the conversation.

Mallard

Member since 2002 · Posted 21 Dec 2004 · Edited 21 Dec 2004 · 12 comments

touching its plumped tail with a paddle was an undeliberate thrill. to navigate this pond in a wooden box of a boat, can try. the lob of a crust to break the water, an ear of bread trimmed from a sandwich, an offer that upturns a beak's chimera.

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12 comments

[10] Lifeboatman 21-Dec-04/4:39 AM Reply

good.. 10.. I'm having duck tonight

[8] blacksoul 21-Dec-04/8:03 AM Reply

We share a poetic bond; much respect.Boom shaq a lacka
I'm having jackass (smile)-8-

[8] Dovina 21-Dec-04/10:32 AM Reply

The first sentence is good, except what have you against capitals?
Chimera seems too grandiose for a duck's beak.
"can try" meaning to try patience or ability, I suppose, seems clumsy.
"ear of bread" may be a Briticism. If so, okay.

[8] blacksoul › Dovina 21-Dec-04/2:23 PM Reply

Dovina blacksoul is a rich little brat. he likes making comments like that until you start talking about them stick people he be painting

[n/a] jroday › blacksoul 21-Dec-04/2:29 PM Reply

Felicia you did'nt have to log in on me, but any Dovina go to www.leroy campbell.com and tell me what you think of my stick men. better yet my paintings.

[9] Shuushin 31-Dec-04/6:04 AM Reply

I try to make my own conclusions without reading the other comments, but I share Dovina's unease with "chimera".

Having trouble with the disparity it implies, because I don't see it in the action. And the only link I see with the beak is with the color partially matching the flames breathed by that mythical beast - but that is a longshot at best. Fire/Water disparity?? - I actually wouldn't be too surprised if *you* were going for that (and that is meant as a compliment).

Otherwise, its a soothing piece. Mellow with an interesting but not startling turn. "plumped tail" is very nice. Don't know what would work better than "lob", maybe "float" for several reasons you can probably see for yourself. But lob works well too.

[10] zodiac › Shuushin 1-Jan-05/10:17 PM Reply

I got lost, what "disparity" does chimera imply?

Welcome back.

[9] Shuushin › zodiac 2-Jan-05/6:47 AM Reply

I thought it implied, at its most general, a combination of two or more things that seem strangely combined. That's what I meant by disparity.

It can also be a beasyy that is part lion, part goat and part serpent that, oh by the way - breathes fire.

I've been kindof waiting since my original post for someone to say "Hey stupid, it also means 'orange'", or something else, but it hasn't happened. Meanwhile I've looked around and I can't find any other descriptor/meaning for chimera that helps me otherwise out.

You got something?

[n/a] richa › Shuushin 2-Jan-05/7:06 AM Reply

Pretentious buncombe. What I meant to say was the frown and smile are part of the duck beak's same rigid pose.

[9] Shuushin › richa 2-Jan-05/7:10 AM Reply

Oh, I didn't get that. And don't be so hard on yourself, happens to all of us.

[10] zodiac › Shuushin 3-Jan-05/11:01 PM Reply

The part I took issue with is "disparity". It struck me that chimera means something not necessarily disparate - that in fact it's almost certainly not. Now I'm not so sure. Rather, only a little ashamed of myself.

[9] Shuushin › zodiac 4-Jan-05/5:48 AM Reply

It's that whole dictionary.com thing again. Bastards think they know everything.