poemranker ::We Were Burnouts by jessicazee

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Free verse № 123570

We Were Burnouts

Member since 2002 · Posted 16 Apr 2005 · Edited 16 Apr 2005 · 6 comments

My first real album was The Cars which you gave to me in seventh grade outside the Home Ec room where I sewed my own robe. I just got kicked out of the Latin Ladies, the gang of female Latin Kings, (little sisters and cousins of men with tattoo tears) when you found out I was white. It was almost my birthday, you wore really a lot of eyeliner and I think you smoked weed way before I needed a bra. When I went to your house; it was an apartment, which I had never seen before and I was a little scared. You rolled up a tiny joint in a Tampax wrapper. Which was cool, I guess, on your porch, twelve, fresh and there. Missy Marquez showed up, with her boyfriend Bobo. I couldn’t believe they stole your pot, which was really your mom’s, stolen from her drawer. We walked to the Yum-Yum Stop for twist cones with crunchy sprinkles, the last night of St. Lucy's carnival, Tilt-a-Whirl, swings spinning in high circles. You ditched me at the bake sale but I found you behing the Port-a-John making out with Frank Bodnar, his blue Izod polo shirt was clean, smelled like Downy and a basement nobody used. Your wrote your name “Kristina” on my hand with a smelly marker, “Kristina Loves Frank” then “Go home Jessica”

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mean 9.00 weighted 6.08 rank 1165 views 281 View voting details →

7 votes so far. Yours would make 8.7 votes so far

A favorite of Landon2, zodiac.

6 comments

[10] zodiac 17-Apr-05/5:55 AM Reply
You're really getting very good. The loose parts in the middle are made up for by that amazing last sentence.
[9] Dovina 17-Apr-05/9:45 AM Reply
Some spelling mistakes in the last few lines.
[9] INTRANSIT 17-Apr-05/12:56 PM Reply
I like it but I can't seem to make the dead mans curve in it. I may be too slow at the wheel today.
[10] thepinkbunnyofdoom 18-Apr-05/11:16 AM Reply
I'm just going to be worthless and say I enjoyed this.

<3 Jason
[n/a] jessicazee › thepinkbunnyofdoom 27-Apr-05/1:18 AM Reply
thanks for reading & replying. I have been working very hard writing lately & it's nice to know people respond. Meow.
[7] Wakeboarder20 13-Sep-05/10:49 PM Reply
Pretty good. Needs to be structured a little though. Some grammatical errors. But overall, different and well written.