poemranker ::Elmer's Last Try by Dovina

DetailsThe poem, its numbers, and the conversation.

Free verse № 131273

Elmer's Last Try

Member since 2004 · Posted 21 Sep 2005 · 7 comments

"I want you to love me," he whispered. She looked at him, and it seemed he was the child they never had. "And I did love you," she said, straightning his covers. Then she went out the door, closing it softly behind her. And that was the end of the conversation.

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mean 6.25 weighted 5.15 rank 5274 views 255 View voting details →

4 votes so far. Yours would make 5.4 votes so far

7 comments

[n/a] ALChemy 21-Sep-05/1:55 PM Reply
You forgot to end with th-th-th-that's all folks.



Sorry I tried so hard to resist it but failed.
[n/a] Dovina › ALChemy 22-Sep-05/1:52 PM Reply
Did you try to resist voting and succeeded.
[n/a] ALChemy › Dovina 25-Sep-05/9:11 AM Reply
For Bush or for the poem?

No matter. Same answer.

What should I vote on?

Brevity-8
Grammar-9
Vividness-6
Compared to your other poetry-4
Soap opera-ness-10
[9] INTRANSIT 21-Sep-05/8:04 PM Reply
Sad. Interesting swap there. Unlike me and my heavily cliched (and sedated) poems. I think I should like to try an inversion someday. How much does the safety equipment cost? Man, the rankers dead lately!
[n/a] Dovina › INTRANSIT 22-Sep-05/1:54 PM Reply
Trucking accross country like us I guess. No time for satire. I,ll be doin' Philadelphia to LA soon.
[10] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 22-Sep-05/6:50 AM Reply
A bedwetting can test even the most devoted parent's love.
[n/a] Dovina › -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 22-Sep-05/1:51 PM Reply
Not as much as a proud child's derision. But it's not about parent-child, but rather husband-wife.