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Hope

Member since 2002 · Posted 7 Dec 2005 · Edited 7 Dec 2005 · 5 comments

In the midst of my sorrow, At the bottom of the vale, With the cold December falling I somehow stumbled on a trail. I am still convinced In just a few more frozen breaths Without that symbol in the snow, That night would have been my death. But somehow that ribbon Barely visible in the shifting snow Gave me everything I needed Just a little bit of hope. (It's been so long since I wrote anything I thought I'd better spit something out before I rust shut.)

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mean 5.50 weighted 5.13 rank 5591 views 322 View voting details →

6 votes so far. Yours would make 7.6 votes so far

5 comments

[7] wilco 7-Dec-05/9:03 PM Reply

Definitely not your best, but I'm glad you're back.

[7] cyan9 8-Dec-05/6:51 AM Reply

Nice + quaint pleasurable read, good image with the symbol in the snow. It lacked a bit in language and didnt do anything with rythm or flow but otherwise quite nice.

[7] ALChemy 9-Dec-05/7:55 AM Reply

The first stanzas real nice but the others dwindle a bit.

[n/a] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 10-Dec-05/3:17 PM Reply

Needs a little less hope and a lot more sorrow. Just saying "In the midst of my sorrow" isn't enough to convince me -- when you stumble across hope, I end up thinking you don't deserve it.

[7] Dovina 10-Dec-05/3:27 PM Reply

I've seen that ribbon of ski tracks in the snow and it's said that somebody else is lost too or just maybe somebody knows something I don't. The first verse says it's metaphoric, but the first verse is weak. I like the rest.