poemranker ::Racism 2 by Dovina

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Free verse № 136882

Racism 2

Member since 2004 · Posted 12 Jan 2006 · 10 comments

Retreating the cliché of suburb homogeneity, tired of yuppie hype, she gravitates against advice, like lightning to resentment’s rod, and comes by rail to LA’s inner core, with a twenty and a body, both kept close, mostly out of sight. The white patron wanders, alone in poor, non-white inner city streets, known for moral turpitude, shopping at the liquor store, the greasy hot-dog stand. Treated warmly and with courtesy, she thinks and almost says, quite a different way from how we treated you. Exemplary, is what they mean, she figures on the train, as in, we’d like the same in your hometown.

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10 comments

[5] amanda_dcosta 14-Jan-06/12:04 AM Reply
Dovina, I hope you don't mind, but, personally I feel you haven't conveyed your matter very clearly. Somehow, I don't feel very impressed by it.
[8] ALChemy 14-Jan-06/5:03 AM Reply
This would be relevent in the 1960s or to people in their 60s. Besides, ethnic people aren't trying to end racism through being nice. They're just being nice.

I do love the fact that I'm pretty much guaranteed a few fancy words whenever I read your poems.
[4] zodiac 14-Jan-06/10:47 AM Reply
I cannot fucking believe you're still doing this. Please, for once take the hint: YOU DON'T KNOW ABOUT MINORITIES. YOU DON'T ACTUALLY KNOW ANY BLACK PEOPLE. EVERYTHING YOU WRITE ABOUT THEM COMES OFF SOUNDING INSANE.
[4] zodiac 14-Jan-06/10:50 AM Reply
In short, if you want to improve your poetry, consider selling your house in Orange County, quitting your job, and moving somewhere with real ethnic balance, like Charlotte.
[8] ALChemy › zodiac 14-Jan-06/11:13 AM Reply
The guys at work are thinking about making me an honorary "brotha". If you ever saw me you'd know how funny that is.
[5] amanda_dcosta › zodiac 15-Jan-06/1:25 AM Reply
Poems on racism seem to stress on prejudices, pride and a whole lot of superfacial crap. This is a very sensitive topic: it seems to show that you are determined on conveying your idea on Racism or trying to prove that one set of humans is superior, or that one is inferior. I would rather like to see something like "We are the world.... we are the children".
[6] ecargo › amanda_dcosta 15-Jan-06/9:19 AM Reply
Superfacial may be my new favorite (non)word.
[6] ecargo 15-Jan-06/9:18 AM Reply
The main problem with this is too much telling, not enough showing. Dave Chappelle does a bit about being driven into the projects and knowing that's where they were headed because: "gun store, gun store, liquor store, gun store." That raises an immediate image, just those few words. That's what's missing here. More "liquor store,
the greasy hot-dog stand" and less narrative and blatant point-making.
[8] ALChemy › ecargo 15-Jan-06/11:05 AM Reply
Is that the one with Wayne Brady?

"This racist stuff is killing me inside" -Dave Chappelle from the skit "The Niggar Family".
http://www.limanon.com/menu/films/chapelle/niggarfamily.html
[n/a] richa 16-Jan-06/3:14 PM Reply
I gather this poem is about a white person who goes to a black inner-city and buys a greasy hot dog and liquor store stuff and is treated well by the black people. The black people would like when they visit the middle-class white person's town to be treated the same way but they are not. It is just not a very realistic scenario.