Free verse № 139026
You Sang To Me In A Cathedral Chamber
(or 'What the Spider Saw')
Spider sitting, thin-spinning in the plum-coloured corner
Shadow, subtle angles - small orphan of Night
He is top-hat velvet on eccentric silken tails
Lordly in his Father's hall
Roam past the Master's chamber like a roving eye
Small fly is his, its vision shared
All things possessed in this tiny realm
Now oft-ignored curiosity is engaged
Common footsteps give unusual ring
He knows this is no ordinary enchantment
And says "I'll
Not object to this visit to my house"
Settle
See
Oak door slides to misty choir of rust
Carefully steps a small blue girl, a paper lantern silhouette
Leads a boy made of cotton thread and string
Shows him panelled walls, polished floor
Beams like the door
Pining for forests long gone
Ancient wood - the contrast of fragility and strength
Reason enough for her to smile
This is a memory room
Her mouth curves to relive days now past
And Spider stares as every square of stone sings
Throwing tongue unfamiliar one to another
Crashing, shimmering - he knows not this shattering exaltation
The 'sacred chord' adored, all notes are one
Journey of discovery, such holy question
A chorus in reply
Slowly fades
Like dew before the sun, prayer ends
Gentle tick-tock as the small blue girl crosses soft-lit floor
The pendulum boy in her hand swings
Listen
Overture gone, closed-door hush
Another song taking root in grain
Underfoot - the soft-shoe shine
And somehow Spider sees a tree
Spring, grow, die, instant blossom verse
& He Who Sees All
Turns back to His rough home
Cutaway bed
Where time is a circle
23 comments
Spiders :)
"Beams like the door
Pining for forests long gone"
were terrific.
Great imagery; I love the way each successive word adds a little more texture to the poem. -9-
Just as an aside, there are a couple of overtones thrown in here (the spider metaphor, the tree etc.) Did they come through at all? You've all suffered the Pimple years of Ranger, now is the time when I begin stage 2 of the poet's training, in the proper and effective use of metaphor.
Cheers for commenting!
Keep up the good work. ^^
You talk about the use of metaphor--spider, tree--in your comment. It does come through, I think--but, out of curiosity: what were you aiming for?
In contrast, its reaction to the song was a mirror of mine; I had never heard such an awe-inspiring verse before (hence the description of myself as a doll; the inexperience and discovery of childhood).
The tree was an image that unfolded in my mind as I listened; imagine the life of a tree sped up so it happens in the space of just a few moments - a crescendo at birth, a verse in full bloom, and the fading final years...I'm sure it's not an original metaphor, but it seems a perfect description for a song.
There's so much that I tried to fit in here, not all of it particularly well jointed together - it's fantastic that people like this, but to me it still seems untidy somehow. In time I may do another version, but I'm prepared to be patient with this one. It took me an extremely long time to write.
Side note: this actually started life as a haiku - oh how things change!
Also... I'm so damn proud this poem is about me.
Love you always
xxx
That said, I don't think it would hurt to fill in with a word here or there, in closer proximity to complete sentences.
It's all about learning stylistic tricks now - there is so much fantastic poetry on this site that I'm learning every time I log in.
Your comment made my day, by the way! Thank you once again!
How's that?
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