poemranker ::Nude Falling Down Staircase by zodiac

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Free verse № 139468

Nude Falling Down Staircase

by zodiac

Member since 2004 · Posted 21 Feb 2006 · Edited 21 Feb 2006 · 14 comments

(How we do art –) Coming from sex or going to fetch pie from the plate on the table for someone who’s already asleep, having forgotten asking for pie, you trip over the dog, and you, the dog and you, go tumbling down, thinking – the human you now – so now I’m a motion-study, futurism for dummies, cue laugh-track: zhe outraygeous waiter tips the desert-cart, cannolis, crème-puffs spilling. So you’re breaking up, having gone downstairs to get desert, mister or missus head knee elbow nipple balls sex made all-one, now grunting spiraling air-thrusting thinking if I had wings I’d touch feather-light down on the landing, I’d bring this on a plate for you to smile at, rubbing the sheet between your legs. But what of that? Then there’s no man or girl waiting above, there are no sheets to rub, no love-smell, there’s no landing, either, and only the waked dog eating your pie.

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14 comments

[9] Ranger 21-Feb-06/3:51 PM Reply
This is fantastic.
[9] ALChemy 21-Feb-06/3:52 PM Reply
Aside from the last line this is a great representation of cubism with a cute parody title.
The final lines threw me off though, they don't seem to go with the scattered multi angle picture you've created.
[n/a] zodiac › ALChemy 21-Feb-06/4:39 PM Reply
I wanted it to be more about writing/art in general than cubism. Maybe that's what's confusing.
[9] ALChemy › zodiac 21-Feb-06/10:37 PM Reply
The last line does make more sense that way. I'm sure you've seen the painting. When I first saw it I thought "Yeah, it looks more like he's falling than descending". Do you think the cubist quality of the painting might have subtly influenced the way you wrote this? It seems your trying to demystify art. This would be a side effect of atheism and the reason I avoid atheism. Then again I probably am as usual reading too much into this.
[n/a] zodiac › ALChemy 21-Feb-06/11:00 PM Reply
"Do you think the cubist quality of the painting might have subtly influenced the way you wrote this?"

Only as far as cubist/futurist/whatever capturing every movement or moment in an event, freeze-frame style. Which I think applies to writing as much as to any other art.

"It seems your trying to demystify art."

I'd like to mystify the mundane. Seriously. For me at least, that's a side effect of atheism. Part of that I think is the event or poem being free from context, which I what I was trying to say in the end. For me it's metaphor for writing a poem, maybe a poem for a woman. You break your neck and only the dog/reader gets the prize. If that's not clear, though, it's my bad.
[9] ALChemy › zodiac 22-Feb-06/7:19 AM Reply
Most art movements have their literary counterpart. I got the part where the reader doesn't know the context and to truly put them in your state of mind is futile which is exactly why you should write for yourself first and foremost. Poems and paintings are just elaborate calling cards. Davinci seems to have known that.
Yet I still think there is a mystic quality to art that can't be defined except maybe through art.
[9] drnick 22-Feb-06/10:52 AM Reply
To be honest, I didn't really get this until I read your responce to ALChemy. Though, to be fair, this is a very "artsy" poem and thus should be difficult to get right away. Anyways, I love it now...especially the last line. Well done.
[9] ecargo 23-Feb-06/9:52 AM Reply
I really like your stuff, Zodiac, including this <gush gush, but what the hell>. The first line is killer. Like the falling-through-air using sex words; could do without the borrowed slapstick waiter (I don't think you need it). The metaphor works, for art, for writing. (But what do you mean in your comment by "free from context"? Shouldn't it carry its own context to be effective, to some degree anyway?)

Dessert, not desert.
[n/a] zodiac › ecargo 23-Feb-06/11:26 AM Reply
Well, say context should be self-contained. When I write I find myself ballooning out-of-control out of the situation I've set out to describe. I wrote this as kind of my determination to not do that so much.

re "dessert": yes. That's unconscionable. Maybe I should get away from the computer for a bit. It seems to be eating brain cells.
[8] LilMsLadyPoet 1-Mar-06/10:54 AM Reply
lol...chuckled at this...didn't think I was going to like it, at first...but it came out pulled together...and ended up being fun. You have a strange internal dialog! LOL
[5] matt door 12-Mar-06/8:54 AM Reply
Spew
[n/a] Dark Angle 13-Mar-06/2:04 PM Reply
i am completely baffled with this one. maybe my two year break from poetry really disconnected me from the poetic beat or something
[5] matt door 31-Aug-06/7:30 PM Reply
so very tired - so lame - no sheets? try something more
personable - a tad more broad - you're too selfish.
[9] nypoet22 16-Sep-06/7:47 AM Reply
this is blank verse, isn't it? the title reads like the title of a painting, which leaves me wondering whether there's a real painting behind the poem. on completion of my first read it made me chuckle. in my estimation the phrase "made all-one" in line 12 should be eliminated. the meaning is already implicit, and the line would have so much more "oomph" without.

Pie!