poemranker ::My Shattered Love by Silverjackel

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Free verse № 139684

My Shattered Love

Member since 2006 · Posted 25 Feb 2006 · Edited 26 Feb 2006 · 4 comments

A tempest, strong and violent Is far less ferocious than she, As the waves crash fiercely into the ship And reflect voraciously; Her lack of benign attributes Would shatter it to pieces, Crack and splinter the hardened oak With vigor that is ceaseless; Without remorse, regret, or shame, The vessel would be lumber, As her typhoon of arrogance Would send the ship down under; And never a cry out for repent Would be uttered by she, She would stick a dagger in your chest And think it is amity; This demon of remorselessness Left me writhing on the ground, Tore my heart to tiny bits Then quickly turned around. My love is but a dismal past, Shattered by her malice; The only prayer that I now speak Is that she be damned to Satan’s palace.

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mean 3.67 weighted 4.84 rank 10685 views 146 View voting details →

3 votes so far. Yours would make 4.3 votes so far

4 comments

[n/a] Alizarin_Crimson 25-Feb-06/11:07 PM Reply
The proper spelling would be "Voraciously"
[n/a] Blue Magpie 26-Feb-06/12:40 AM Reply
Its so nice to see love transcending the darkness and shining in the wilderness of our lives.
[5] amanda_dcosta 26-Feb-06/3:58 AM Reply
Seeing how negative you are in the end justifies why she has to be worse than a typhoon or a cyclone or a twister, what ever you'd call it. I would have liked a more positive ending, you might have got an -8- from me then. Saying that you prayed for her good, rather, would have it going in your favour strongly.
[6] MacFrantic 26-Feb-06/11:01 AM Reply
I just don't know, this is better than your other post, but the adj's seem extremely forced and the scheme is too formulaic. It makes you isolate and search for rhyme. *6*