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The Tale of Hominus Ominus (Other) by Blue Magpie
A long time ago, when the world was still young, and the love-songs of life fell from everyone’s tongue, two brothers were born in a cave out of sight; the Day was one parent and the other was Night. Made orphans by birth and unsure of their shape they were nurtured by Nature and raised by an ape. By features alone they were not told apart, but the first had a mind and the second a heart. Together they grew as they studied and learned, and the soul of one flew while the other soul yearned, ‘til a day came around when they had to create a sign or a symbol to govern their fate. They had all the time they could possibly need and each wished the other the strength to succeed, then Aggapus rested and brought forth a dream while Ominus tinkered and made a machine. Next Aggapus whittled a whistle to play and followed a tune to the end of the day, he learned about poetry, painting and joy, and even today he still looks like a boy. But Ominus fell after Aggapus left his consciousness darkened, his feelings bereft, and as fear slowly twisted the lines of his sight, he invented a weapon with which he could fight. He conquered his parents, his world and his nurse, but never himself, so his fears just grew worse, ‘til he looked in a mirror and saw that he’d grown so ugly and old that he let out a moan. He laid down his weapons and gave a great sigh, and sobs shook his frame as he started to cry, lost and alone in the world he controlled he had no-one to talk to, to hug or to hold. But his tears were not silent, and Aggapus heard his brother’s great sorrow and flew on a word from his elegant dreams to sit by his side, and sing him sweet songs ‘til his tears were dried. In the sound of that music and the light of a smile Hominus Ominus laughed for a while, and his laughter like sunlight uplifted his soul, suspended his sorrows and made him feel whole. Then he broke up his weapons, his fences and chains, and returned to the world all his ill-gotten gains, released all his servants and freed all his pets, and tore down his temples of doubts and regrets. When Aggapus saw all his brother had built, the shadows he’d worshipped, the blood that he’d spilt, he was touched for a moment by tremors of shame as he understood clearly that he was to blame, for leaving his brother with nothing to feel as he himself dallied in thoughts quite unreal; then he swore to his parents, on his brother’s past pain that he’d never leave Ominus lonely again. Now the two live together, but really they’re one inspiring each other and sharing the sun, for each of them needs what the other must give, if they wish to find peace in the world where they live.

Down the ladder: Lent Begins

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Arithmetic Mean: 7.5
Weighted score: 5.6723537
Overall Rank: 2028
Posted: March 10, 2006 5:17 AM PST; Last modified: March 10, 2006 5:17 AM PST
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Comments:
[10] INTRANSIT @ 205.188.117.10 | 10-Mar-06/6:03 AM | Reply
"til his tears were dried " I think is off a half beat.
not really enough to worry about.

Groooooovy ,man.
[n/a] Blue Magpie @ 212.205.251.83 > INTRANSIT | 10-Mar-06/8:52 AM | Reply
Yeah, your probably right, it was 'all dried', and I think I had a brain typo when I took it out. Thanks for the comment and the 10.
[9] Dovina @ 67.72.98.94 | 10-Mar-06/3:26 PM | Reply
Very good. You built the case for Ominus needing Aggapus, but for the reverse to be true, as you say it is in the last verse, we need a strong example, as in the former. "no-one" could be no one.
[n/a] Blue Magpie @ 212.205.251.109 > Dovina | 12-Mar-06/11:07 PM | Reply
Dear Dovina,
I thought I had implied the causes of Aggapus's problems, with 'brought forth a dream' and 'dallied inthoughts quite unreal' but here is another stanza

he learned about poetry, painting and joy,
and even today he still looks like a boy.

He wandered, unknowing, far out of the world;
as his dreamy illusions of wonder unfurled
he lived like a phantom of ardent belief
too lost in the beauty to see his own grief.
[9] amanda_dcosta @ 203.145.159.44 | 11-Mar-06/12:21 AM | Reply
Good work. You got me going till the end. I thought that this would be just some stuff written only to fill a page , ie. when I saw the length.... but you pulled it through. pretty interesting.
[8] Ranger @ 62.252.32.15 | 13-Mar-06/5:34 AM | Reply
Pretty nifty, a decent tale of the human condition. It certainly takes courage to write something this lengthy and search for plenty enough rhymes without turning the reader off; you manage it very well.
Stanza 5 was the best.
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