poemranker ::Cat Feet by Niphredil

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Free verse № 141568

Cat Feet

by Niphredil

Member since 2005 · Posted 29 Mar 2006 · 18 comments

Everyone has grown cat feet. Slinking up behind me, Tiptoeing along the padded floors, Even the windows swing shut in cushioned frames Which never creak or slam. Poor things! Their expressions are bent out of shape. How often they contort their exaggerated faces In a sweaty, good-natured endeavor To be of assistance. And then they back away, uneasily damp. But I don’t mind. After all, what more could one expect From those poor, nervous people With cat feet?

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18 comments

[9] ecargo 30-Mar-06/10:02 AM Reply
Hee--I like this a lot. It has a really cool feel to it, well expressed and paranoid in a humorous way. I love the first line and "uneasily damp" made me laugh out loud (in a good way). The windows are a nice added touch.
[n/a] Niphredil › ecargo 30-Mar-06/11:17 AM Reply
Heh, the narrator is a bit paranoid. He's also, unfortunately for him, going deaf.
Incidentally, have you ever noticed those terrible facial exaggerations that people make when talking to a person who is hard of hearing? As if an invisible someone was stretching their expressions just a teensy bit more than they ought.
[8] Dovina 30-Mar-06/11:32 AM Reply
Knowing what you have said about the narrator, this makes a lot of sense. Without knowing that, it would slip past me like a quiet cat. Perhaps you could hint with something like, "ears or not, I know you're there."
[n/a] Niphredil › Dovina 30-Mar-06/11:35 AM Reply
Arrrg. You're perfectly right. I simply really tried to avoid saying *the D-word*...but I guess it'll have to be clarified.
[8] Ranger 30-Mar-06/12:15 PM Reply
I completely missed the deafness in here, i was thinking of people being deliberately quiet so as not to disturb someone who they think is asleep (maybe terminal in a hospital). It's a good poem without the explanation, but it's a super poem with it.
[8] ALChemy 30-Mar-06/12:30 PM Reply
This is nice but the use of "cat feet" constantly reminds me of the Carl Sandburg poem "Fog"

Fog

The fog comes
on little cat feet.

It sits looking
over harbor and city
on silent haunches
and then moves on.
[n/a] zodiac › ALChemy 30-Mar-06/1:37 PM Reply
Yes. I was about to say that. Sorry, Niphredil, that phrase is permanently spoken for.
[n/a] Niphredil › zodiac 30-Mar-06/1:41 PM Reply
<bangs head on wall>. I think I'll switch to 'aardvark feet'. or 'platypus feet'. Those make for excellent poetic phrases and I bet nobody's used them before.
[n/a] Niphredil › zodiac 30-Mar-06/1:46 PM Reply
Seriously though, would it help if I switched to 'cat paws'? It seems a little awkward.
[n/a] zodiac › Niphredil 30-Mar-06/1:49 PM Reply
It would help if you thought of something truly original to describe things happening quietly.
[8] Ranger › zodiac 30-Mar-06/1:57 PM Reply
'It was quiet, like the clattering of non-existent saucepans'.
[8] Dovina › Ranger 30-Mar-06/2:07 PM Reply
"like zodiac trying to figure which way Mecca is from fairbanks"
[n/a] zodiac › Dovina 30-Mar-06/2:14 PM Reply
Double yawn.
[8] Dovina › zodiac 30-Mar-06/2:23 PM Reply
East by southeast, or about 292 degrees south azimuth. Carry on.
[8] ALChemy › zodiac 1-Apr-06/5:57 PM Reply
"It was quiet like the conquering worm". Nope, shit, that one's been taken too.
[n/a] Niphredil 30-Mar-06/1:32 PM Reply
I wonder, if I was to change the first line to a stanza:

"They tell me that I can't hear anymore.
And I think, how silly;
Can't they see that, lately,
Everyone has grown cat feet."
[8] Ranger › Niphredil 3-Apr-06/1:46 AM Reply
Yes, I'd agree that it works better like that - it needs the explanation that is offered in that stanza.
[9] amanda_dcosta 15-May-06/10:52 PM Reply
Ha ha ha. This is what I think you would call selective deafness and being paranoid at the same time. Ah yes, scrolling down, I see that my impression has already been impressed upon by others. This is lovely. I wonder how many of us fit into this category. You ofcourse, have qualified.