poemranker ::The Flawed Inventor by Caducus

DetailsThe poem, its numbers, and the conversation.

Free verse № 143651

The Flawed Inventor

Member since 2002 · Posted 25 May 2006 · 2 comments

I invented a pedestal it was a flawed design for she always fell landing as a mannequin. Then I dressed her how I wanted through two brown windows she saw her suitor and fell again, breaking in two. So I fixed her with my hands re-inventing her, I changed her face moulding her, to suit my dream. I invented another pedestal it was the perfect design, yet somehow she fell landing as a woman who left me still as a mannequin that left two brown windows open.

Rate it

0 is the worst, 10 the best. Pick a number, add a comment if you like, then send it. Keys: 0–9 pick, Enter sends.

mean 3.00 weighted 4.91 rank 9718 views 238 View voting details →

2 votes so far. Yours would make 3.2 votes so far

2 comments

[6] Sunny 25-May-06/10:58 PM Reply
Interesting lesson you learned & took note to...A few notes I wanted to point out:
-L4S4: Very smart when looking at the aftermath in this 'story'
-L2S2: I recognize the "brown" of "brown windows" is repeated in the last stanza, but I don't understand the signifigant meaning behind the use of brown???

-Sunny

[n/a] Caducus › Sunny 26-May-06/1:30 AM Reply
brown windows are the eyes of the inventor.