poemranker ::I hate making titles by drnick

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Free verse № 144559

I hate making titles

by drnick

Member since 2005 · Posted 13 Jul 2006 · 9 comments

Shadows fall like darkness crawls. These trees, it seems, are growing tall. If fire finds these timbered lines who will defend these massive halls? Not God, not man will be at hand to answer the crackling calls.

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9 comments

[9] Ranger 13-Jul-06/2:09 PM Reply
Love it. Only crit is that the penultimate line seems a little short - I'd change it to "to answer all the/crackling calls". Other than that, super.
[n/a] drnick › Ranger 14-Jul-06/11:57 AM Reply
thanks, dude.
[9] ALChemy 13-Jul-06/6:45 PM Reply
This is a good description. If it was a metaphor for something it would be amazing but it seems to not be attached to any thing specific except a row of trees. Maybe a title like "State Park" or something would help give it more of a setting.
[n/a] drnick › ALChemy 14-Jul-06/12:01 PM Reply
Ya, it would have been better had I done that. This was just something I whipped together in class, and I liked how simple and short it was. I do need a title(sigh).
[9] amanda_dcosta 14-Jul-06/5:47 AM Reply
A nice scene, the trees.. the shadows...
It's cool how you emphasize on a few things and make a poem out of it. It would be better with a title though.
[n/a] drnick › amanda_dcosta 14-Jul-06/12:04 PM Reply
Spank you very mooch.
[9] amanda_dcosta › drnick 14-Jul-06/12:07 PM Reply
:-)
[n/a] CherokeeRoseLoggins 17-Jul-06/11:20 AM Reply
Was this suppose to be about lightning? Because that is the picture that formed in my mind while reading this. Sounds like the way lightning does around ehre in real bad storms. If so, then this is a good write. But I do agree with Ranger as for the last two lines;

To answer all,
The crackling calls.
[n/a] CherokeeRoseLoggins 17-Jul-06/11:21 AM Reply
Sorry for the typo, it was to say here, not ehre.