poemranker ::Ionic Winter by david

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Free verse № 1467

Ionic Winter

by david

Member since 2002 · Posted 10 May 2002 · 7 comments

you are an ionic winter, a rough stone sitting on the beach, forever waiting for the tide to arrive. And here am i, Macbeth in many ways. With time on my hands, i wait for you to play these games. "Fine," you say, looking me up and down rather critically, "Just this once." and since then, Portage and Main has never been so damn cold.

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mean 5.44 weighted 5.39 rank 3213 views 173 View voting details →

16 votes so far. Yours would make 17.16 votes so far

7 comments

[5] nentwined 12-May-02/8:20 PM Reply
I don't get it, though I think I'd like to...
[9] <~> 30-Aug-02/7:49 AM Reply
find yourself a summer girl, and let her aphrodesiac warm your heart, so that it never again worships at that cold temple
[n/a] david › <~> 2-Nov-02/8:24 PM Reply
Find a summer girl, hmm? You make it sound so simple. ;-)
[4] Christof 30-Aug-02/8:32 AM Reply
In what way are you Macbeth? Have you just been off killing kings? Seeing your best friend's ghost? Meeting witches? What?? This infuriates me.
[7] limonade 3-Nov-02/12:41 AM Reply
I like this, but there are some rough edges that need to be smoothed out. I don't quite understand how you are MacBeth. What is the game that she is playing, if you are MacBeth, and she isn't really interested anyway? It doesn't sound like she's exactly being seductive. The first four lines are beautiful, the first 6 are good. Then, I get confused. I like the coldness of the poem. In the middle, the dialogue gives life and the potential for warmth, but it slips back into that dreary winter in the end, which makes me shiver. So much potential here; smooth out those images and I'll raise my vote. 7.
[9] <{Baba^Yaga}> 4-Jul-03/1:57 PM Reply
Crafty.
[7] LilMsLadyPoet 12-Dec-05/7:55 PM Reply
Lose the Macbeth reference, fill in the blank with something else;I don't see the relevance of it. I'd like to know what she said 'fine' to. Answer that, and replace Macbeth, and I might see my way to a higher score. I like the general flavour of it.