DetailsThe poem, its numbers, and the conversation.

America the Beautiful?

Member since 2002 · Posted 12 Sep 2002 · 8 comments

He held his head high as she said no. She fell to her knees begging "not again". A kid goes hungry in a crack house. A mother cries over a lost son A boy tries to make it through another day. And a girl cries over a broken heart. Are these the things that make America great? Is this what we are proud to say is our heritage? Why do we never stop to think about how we treat each other? She laughed at the fat girl. He beat up the poor kids. A man kills a wife. A rapist walks free. The girl tried her hardest but wasn't pretty enough. A guy kills thousands in the name of religion and we had warnings. Is this what makes us proud? Is this what our ancestors envisioned America to be when they came here? I pledge allegiance to the wrong in the United States of America, And to the hatred for which it stands, One nation under the criminals, Distrusted, with apathy and injustice for all.

Rate it

0 is the worst, 10 the best. Pick a number, add a comment if you like, then send it. Keys: 0–9 pick, Enter sends.

mean 3.67 weighted 4.03 rank 13340 views 118 View voting details →

12 votes so far. Yours would make 13.12 votes so far

8 comments

[2] god'swife 12-Sep-02/9:49 PM Reply

You know, if you're going to get way up there on your giant soap box you should at least make it pretty. This is not a poem It's a very bad nagging session. "Is this what makes us proud?" "Is this what our ancestors...." You sound like a crotchety old man. An impact can never be made by standing and wagging your finger.

[2] [mojo] 13-Sep-02/3:03 PM Reply

(sings) ..and the home of the...brave.! Another American outpouring, why do you lot feel so guilty? First stanza hopelessly cliched "a mother cries over a lost son" etc. Find something to be proud of and try to stop whining.2.

[n/a] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 13-Sep-02/3:15 PM Reply

Yes! This is it! This is the most profound, beautiful, profound comment on America's society today that I have ever seen! How did you think of it, pink_punk_kisses87? It's such a through-and-through masterpiece that I hardly know where to begin... The title itself is sheer genius. Just imagine -- taking a popular catchphrase, "America the beautiful", and putting a question mark at the end!!! What better way to simultaneously subvert the reader's expectations and set the introspective, questioning tone for the rest of the piece?? Brilliant!

Now, before I continue, let me tell you that usually I have no sympathy for poemes that deal with "issues". But you have managed to capture the essence of suffering and needless brutality in a way that I had scarcely dreamt of! All the images -- so cliched, yet in your incredible hands, so fresh! A beaten woman - a hungry child - drugs - bereavement - depression - lost love. These, yes, these are the issues of the times. Oh wait, sorry. For a minute there I thought your poeme was good.

[n/a] pete 14-Sep-02/2:12 AM Reply

from my perspective it's killing the indians ... sorry , native americans .. that made part of the americas great .... 3

[2] Bachus 14-Sep-02/2:19 AM Reply

may i suggest shooting up morphine...have fun. toodles. 2/10. oh and move, and you you dont live here...move here and invent a better shoe bomb. this tooted fodder. enjoy your time here. have a blast tell your friends the 'stiff taled lemurs. piker!

[8] loneshadow29 17-Sep-02/9:35 AM Reply

I can understand where you're coming from... this is a great country but the ideals which make it great have been distorted... a nation of peace yet so much hatred fills the air, so much pain... government bound to help the people, but more worried about themselves... so much anger envisioned of the problems we face today... let me be the first since no one who commented had the guts to say, without the sarcasm... good poem Pink Punk Kisses

[n/a] Limness › loneshadow29 17-Sep-02/9:49 AM Reply

Perhaps you are the first to post this because you are the first to feel this way? I personally don't like the poem. I don't think it's good, and I wasn't going to comment at all, but your retort struck me as defensive and arrogant, so, I thought, what the hell, I'll throw my hat in the ring as well. Bad poem. Overdone topic. No solution offered.

[10] deleted user 29-Jan-03/5:36 PM Reply

you can write better then me so i got to give u props 4 that. Also one of the best poems i've read 2date on this site. I like it when people say what they feel, most users on this site write to get points and please