poemranker ::every bite remembers in my skin by silvertongueddevil

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Free verse № 1500

every bite remembers in my skin

Member since 2002 · Posted 11 May 2002 · 3 comments

every bite remembers in my skin the mouth of your's, your lips, your teeth, your tongue plunging like my flesh is cream. now they whisper in my neck and chest and arms when you come close. i could forget with time and others but for the reminding i receive from every point you touched. they can only remember, in a chorus of small desires that you planted and i carry.

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mean 5.23 weighted 5.17 rank 4958 views 158 View voting details →

13 votes so far. Yours would make 14.13 votes so far

3 comments

[4] anonymous 11-May-02/3:35 AM Reply
a bit shakey. it doesn't all add up.
[n/a] razorgrin 20-Jun-02/9:01 AM Reply
I really enjoy the beginning.The "Reminding" is a bit...eh, but this is nice.
[6] nentwined 20-Jun-02/12:53 PM Reply
your's is not a word. ["your is"? makes no sense]

tongue plunging into cream isn't an image I grok.

this poem reads jerkily, almost painfully, but... that works. I think I'd still prefer it if it flowed more easily, but. that might just be me.