poemranker ::Remember-me (an ode to those dropped off at the clinic) by Bachus

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Ode № 15012

Remember-me (an ode to those dropped off at the clinic)

by Bachus

Member since 2002 · Posted 13 Sep 2002 · Edited 6 Jun 2003 · 15 comments

I read the letter that you left me. Then I framed it on my wall. So that I could see it always. While I wait for you to call. I want to say I'm sorry, and hold you in my arms. But you aren't going to let me. You claim my voice falsely-charms. Now who am I supposed to turn to? When things get hard to bare. Since, I only have your letter. To dwell upon and stare. I remember poems and paintings. That I made up just for you. Are they still in your old closet? While I play the lonely fool. I should have stayed home on those nights. When you chose to cry. Instead I went out with my friends. Never knowing why. Now forever has no boundaries. That I can plainly see. Now all I want to wish for. Is that you'll remember me. P.s. Our time together weighs upon my heart like an abortion, thank god. Cheers! You know who you are. Sorry for the inconvenience. (not really) I truly used you the most of all, truly. Think of it this way, I took you there, and paid for it. (I wrote it off with this years taxes though.) xoxoxo, The one that happilly got away.

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15 comments

[8] god'swife 13-Sep-02/4:47 PM Reply
Oh my dear sweet brother how i've missed you. Of all the God's you are my favorite. You don't pretend. I'm off for the weekend. Hope to see you soon.
[8] <~> 13-Sep-02/4:53 PM Reply
you had me worried for a minute there, b. i thought maybe p&k's fever had been cyber-contracted...
very nice finish. chairs. z
[n/a] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 13-Sep-02/5:02 PM Reply
Genius. Now the window.
[n/a] pete 14-Sep-02/12:45 AM Reply
;-D for the ps . no vote
[9] royalflesh 14-Sep-02/1:17 AM Reply
tantilizing. metamorphic beauty. Read it over just to see fuzzy again. Definitely top quality and makes me fondle the quality of my other night (project) task of looking out for my counter (part). 9
[n/a] Bachus › royalflesh 14-Sep-02/2:03 AM Reply
explain.
[7] renwick 15-Sep-02/10:16 PM Reply
Other than this line:
"You claim my voice is false and charms"
,which could have been written better such as
"full of false charms" or something like that, I really like it. I like the part about fucking the sister. It takes guts or revenge to admit such a thing.
[8] ifni 17-Sep-02/8:52 AM Reply
One can admire the work without admiring the sentiment. A worthy lesson, at least.
[4] Tintagiles 19-Oct-02/7:10 PM Reply
The P.S. is a letdown. You could have done better than that.
[6] sliver 5-Nov-02/9:42 AM Reply
Slick- Did you get mom too
[7] Nicholas Monson 4-Dec-02/4:42 AM Reply
Some misspellings here and a few creaky rhymes. But it has a faux naif appeal. (sorry to sound pretentious). The PS works well and has the ring (and sting) of truth.
[9] Ranger 4-Jan-03/9:54 AM Reply
Very funny. Stanza 4 (especially the last line) is excellent. 9
[9] lastobelus 12-Mar-03/3:47 PM Reply
was bare bare instead of bear on purpose, or a typo? I hope on purpose, it made me laugh.
[n/a] horus8 › lastobelus 12-Mar-03/4:45 PM Reply
Even he doesn't know. Which made me laugh, frankly.lol.
[7] richa 6-Jun-03/10:28 AM Reply
abortion is in the air today