poemranker ::you are the bell and i am the dog by silvertongueddevil

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Free verse № 1511

you are the bell and i am the dog

by silvertongueddevil

Member since 2002 · Posted 11 May 2002 · 3 comments

you are the bell and i am the dog. on the street corner your silhouette rings an exquisite note, wave, that mutes the traffic and makes me wonder which morning, which afternoon, which forgotten sight of you burnt this trace, unintentional response. the dog in someone's experiment wants to keep the thrill because that is the reward.

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mean 4.86 weighted 4.90 rank 9886 views 156 View voting details →

14 votes so far. Yours would make 15.14 votes so far

3 comments

[8] david 11-May-02/12:17 PM Reply
The metaphor put forth in the opening line sounds contrived and too forthward to fit with the language of the rest of the piece. I'd suggest omitting the first line altogether.
[6] anonymous 14-May-02/9:45 AM Reply
you know, I agree with David. Lose the line one s1. - Aduren, your editor
[6] dilips_10 30-Jun-02/3:19 AM Reply
quite a view!