poemranker ::the magic rock by nypoet22

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Free verse № 151180

the magic rock

Member since 2006 · Posted 24 Mar 2007 · Edited 12 May 2007 · 11 comments

..."We are in a conflict between good and evil. ... And America will call evil by its name." ... -George W. Bush would God's voice whine the electric guitar or the dyspeptic sputter of methane rising toxic from the earth? would He cast a spell of itching insects that affix their stiff pincers onto the genitals of passers-by? Or did someone appropriate His tongue, flay the back of each valiant fool who hoped to fight evil in His name? would this magistrate manage citations for little pedestrians who traffic in the desert wilderness, gate-keep some top floor built above the mass, his face awry and jagged perched as a boulder hangs on the cliff's edge? go, step to that bitter well, take a sip of the world he wants to show, where God does not believe in middle-class, and don't blame Moses for striking his staff instead of trying to talk to the snickering mageface of a rock.

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mean 7.50 weighted 5.30 rank 3695 views 265 View voting details →

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11 comments

[9] Dovina 24-Mar-07/4:24 PM Reply
Yes to the first two questions, no to the third, and ace to the last verse.
[n/a] nypoet22 › Dovina 12-May-07/10:58 AM Reply
does this clear things up any?
[9] Dovina › nypoet22 14-May-07/3:49 AM Reply
It doesn't clear anything up, but it's better in the edit. I think you could find a Bush quote that speaks more directly to the idea of listening to God - maybe not. He has been coy about it. Good and evil can be addressed without God, so to clarify would be to show how Bush claims to rely on what he thinks is revelation from the almighty. In a way Bush does strike a rock as Moses did in anger when God did not do what Moses wanted. That's a good analogy.
[9] Skamper 24-Mar-07/8:35 PM Reply
You could lost the 'but'...always seems a way of apology for what went before. Very clever write, and one to hang on the mind for a while.
[n/a] nypoet22 › Skamper 13-May-07/9:00 AM Reply
revised.
[9] Skamper › nypoet22 17-May-07/1:44 AM Reply
I don't like quoting others to justify a write. I liked this much better the first time around.
The last stanza is brilliant...

Also - I do love the way the quote ends...a little ambigiously (spell check), the way I read it Bush is named as the evil. *S*
[8] richa 25-Mar-07/12:10 PM Reply
The last verse is out of kilter. The poem is the narrator pondering certain questions but then he says to not blame Moses.
[8] Ranger › richa 25-Mar-07/12:48 PM Reply
I don't see the problem.
[n/a] nypoet22 › Ranger 12-May-07/11:01 AM Reply
I added an introductory quote and a verse in the middle in an attempt to clarify. good? bad? other?
[9] deleted user 22-May-07/8:59 AM Reply
good work. I like anything that bashes Bush--especially when it's done as well as this.
[8] richa 22-May-07/9:36 AM Reply
I like the final verse now.