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BlackBird (Howl and Flatulence) (Free verse) by DreamerSupreme
Pissivity- your insistent on infecting me with it, but I only see another challenge to unravel. Now I'm determined to snap and start swinging- because I can. why? quick to utter dunce? I dance to the tune alot. why? sapphic - look, isnt that -kewl-? Opprobrium!- give me more of it. BlackBird you must be the child that grew up stepping on loose carpet strands Me? I set them on fire along with pillows since I'm not one to smother a man when he sleeps. Persistence and pressure with them toes, how clever. Dub me the brute who strikes with the side of fist. I am stubborn- thank my mother. Chuckle- and I have everything stored to review because I am also the silent observer. Squall- cackle and speak of angst, enjoy the twinkle in my eye that is not cursed with stigmatism. Tapestries fray- I'm quite good at making chokes with string. No threat- no promise, but silly ranting that changes constantly. haven't you noticed? Denial and Imply a thousand alternate views record and present my star report when you feel like backing up your empty chirpings. Good day, "And may you live long and prosper" OK? [Do you think theres enough feathers to make an indian chieftan hat?] =give me your zeros folks, i got eternity to spread=

Down the ladder: the magic rock

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Arithmetic Mean: 7.5
Weighted score: 5.2980075
Overall Rank: 3697
Posted: October 4, 2003 9:51 AM PDT; Last modified: October 8, 2003 1:02 AM PDT
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[n/a] <~> @ | 6-Oct-03/8:28 AM | Reply
you have something nice going here, but i think you need to decide whether you are addressing the audience directly, or speaking to us only in asides. If you're talking to us, lose the parentheticals, i say.
[n/a] SupremeDreamer @ > <~> | 8-Oct-03/1:00 AM | Reply
Ok. Shall do that.
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