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Worn Ruse

Member since 2005 · Posted 29 Apr 2007 · 8 comments

He'd like to touch you But you're not there. You're in a worn ruse He cannot see through. Silence guides in Thoughts, fears, lies. You will crush him A mind of depression. He'll contrive Your false mind And you'll do What you need to. Logic signs Pass him by Another worn ruse He will not see through.

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8 comments

[7] richa 30-Apr-07/3:53 AM Reply

I like the first verse. The second is rather overwrought fears, lies, depression etc. Try not no be so wise about the character. Let him act in the poem.

[n/a] drnick › richa 30-Apr-07/7:32 AM Reply

I do see what you mean, thank you!

[7] Dovina 30-Apr-07/3:03 PM Reply

Is she "in" a worn ruse, or acting it? And if it's worn (as in seen by him before) why is he not seeing through it?

[n/a] drnick › Dovina 1-May-07/10:36 AM Reply

She's in a worn ruse that is acted by his mind. He doesn't see through it because it is a psychological disorder of some sort. I realize that I need to develop that thought so as the reader has a better understanding. Thank you!

[7] Dovina › drnick 16-May-07/4:18 AM Reply

I've been acted on by worn ruses and like to think I'm ruse-hardened, but never really am.

[6] pete 7-May-07/4:35 PM Reply

fabulous concept not done full justice by this poem

[8] amanda_dcosta 9-May-07/10:10 AM Reply

Bravo. Some psychological problem from how I see it and very well put. I like the phrase... Logic signs pass him by. You could do with an edit , but I think from one point of view, you've already made your point. Good work.

[7] nypoet22 20-May-07/12:01 PM Reply

the middle stanza is completely unnecessary. remove it and this piece will be much stronger.