DetailsThe poem, its numbers, and the conversation.

Cinematic Indulgence

Member since 2001 · Posted 20 Jul 2008 · 7 comments

Five miles of desert, prepped carefully, swept, kept smooth and "Hollywood"; clouds seeded by the very best for a two hour, one-take, no-cut down-pour of action packed walking amidst the rain; plot to be ret-conned in, explained by fans. Failure will be lemonade; drunk deeply with a twist of gin: sabotage could very well make the film.

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5 votes so far. Yours would make 6.5 votes so far

7 comments

[8] Ranger 21-Jul-08/3:10 AM Reply

How quickly can you recite this?

I love the skipping beat. It gives the poem a sort of it-might-be-meaningful-but-who-cares feel, almost childish. Makes me think you're the sort of person who says "dah-ling" to everyone you meet.

[n/a] Dental Panic 22-Jul-08/1:18 PM Reply

Pretty good flow but ending too soon.

[n/a] nentwined › Dental Panic 22-Jul-08/3:51 PM Reply

Thanks :)

Any thoughts on where else you would have liked to see it go, or questions you would have liked answered?

[7] Dovina › nentwined 23-Jul-08/4:16 PM Reply

Pardon my butting in, but it really ought to go somewhere beyond "failure" in the last verse. For starters dump the two semicolons and the quotes, also the colon. Cool if you're making movies now; if so, a bit more process please.

[n/a] Dental Panic › nentwined 5-Aug-08/3:19 PM Reply

No not really. Might take me anywhere as long as the flow is good.

[7] half.italian 25-Jul-08/8:00 PM Reply

I like everything except from "plot" to "fans". It has a great beat.

[9] Don-Quixote 29-Jul-08/5:47 PM Reply

Ah... it's good to read something that stirrs the beast. Nine again.