Chasing Droplets

Member since 2010 · Posted 22 Jul 2010 · 4 comments

I am cursed. I am able to give any gift in the world yet receive nothing. I gave everything away in the past. Now I'm stuck in the middle, sitting on the petals of the dead orchid that you keep watering, just so that I have the illusion of life. Give me one thing back - my body, With that I will acquire the freedom I desire.

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3 votes so far. Yours would make 4.3 votes so far

4 comments

[4] Dovina 1-Aug-10/5:47 PM Reply

it seems strange that anyone, even you, could give "any gift in the world." Gifts seem more like the special traits that make each of us unique. Yet I fee the captivity of it.

[n/a] daggatolar 2-Aug-10/5:46 AM Reply

I can see your pain
to give out life in full richness -
the greatest of all gift and to now be held down

And be bound out of life itself...
what a pity definition of life....
for anyone ... woman or not

[n/a] http://mulberryfairy 29-Aug-10/9:20 PM Reply

Nice, I love the last stanza. If you took out some of the complete sentences/wasted words like "that" and "the", I think it would be even better.

[6] nypoet22 16-Sep-10/1:04 AM Reply

i like the overall sentiment. this feels like it hasn't been edited yet. write it however you like, but i would write it:

I am cursed. I give
yet receive nothing.
I gave everything.

Now I'm stuck, sitting
on the dead orchid petals
you keep watering
for the illusion of life.

I desire freedom.
give me back
my body.