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Stars In My Eyes

Member since 2002 · Posted 11 May 2002 · 5 comments

You've left me here. I'm lying here all alone on the bed, The spot beside me still warm, As I roll over and over and over, Just trying to catch some sleep As it eludes my wandering mind. I muffle my sobs with a pillow, And try to blink the tears from my eyes. Then I feel your hands, Strong, Warm, And loving, As they run across my shoulders. I smile, And blink the stars from my eyes As the nightmare fades from memory, Replaced by the beautiful reality That is you. You kiss me awake And hold me, Whispering that you love me. And I know I don't have to say, Because you already know, That I love you, too.

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mean 4.08 weighted 4.33 rank 13065 views 104 View voting details →

12 votes so far. Yours would make 13.12 votes so far

5 comments

[n/a] -=SeTTle=- 11-May-02/10:00 PM Reply

Decent image content, but it is wasted in the self reference. Try removing all references to yourself and try replacing the concept of (your) him with something like that-special-someone-we-all-have-you-know-what-I'm-saying.

And see if ending the poem with the broken lines from the center does anything.

And furthermore you don't love me, you're just in love with my po-ems.

[6] anonymous 11-May-02/11:45 PM Reply

I think it's a good poem, but you might want to consider cutting the first line. The rest of the poem tells us that and you can trust the reader.

[1] deleted user 15-Jul-02/9:31 AM Reply

Too Hallmark for me, no depth.

[6] horus8 9-Aug-02/5:29 PM Reply

isn't that sweet.guillotine.rivet.jar.herpes.bank

[8] deleted user 12-Oct-03/2:36 PM Reply

very heart-felt poem. I love how the words don't ryhme but the poems still flows.