poemranker ::happy hour by Limness

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Lyric № 16806

happy hour

by Limness

Member since 2002 · Posted 23 Sep 2002 · Edited 23 Sep 2002 · 12 comments

avert your eyes and please push 6 the nothing in here so thick it sticks so loud it screams; they move away when i get in they've nothing to say big brass doors slide smoothly shut carry me up not out of this rut open to acres of tessellated grey tethered to my cube is where i'll stay my price is this: i must be numb while working while earning i must succumb to drudge, to facts checked out gotten back cruch digits place calls chatter heard over walls slung low hung in rows so everyone will know if you work or if you play sitting listless i listen all day to her calls to him they're on a limb that's going to break she's got a new date lined up for tonight no wrong no right hormonal confusion intended delusion i'll fade them all out all of their doubts i'm not like them so idle so dim when i hear that whine the high-pitched drone a coded agenda i'm never alone i know i am slipping i wish i was gone so this is how it feels to work at the top the happiest hour is the one when you stop

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mean 5.73 weighted 5.36 rank 3279 views 281 View voting details →

11 votes so far. Yours would make 12.11 votes so far

12 comments

[9] OneFingerAnswer 23-Sep-02/10:25 PM Reply
I like it. I'm not sure I totally follow how you got from scene to scene but I like it.
[n/a] Limness › OneFingerAnswer 23-Sep-02/10:29 PM Reply
ever find yourself wondering why the hell you are bothering with all of this shit (esp. at work)? sometimes, it all starts to slipppp awaaaayyyyyy....and it shows. i can see them move away from me in the elevator.
[9] OneFingerAnswer › Limness 23-Sep-02/10:32 PM Reply
I can understand the office and the elevator but the last 5 stanzas seem like a misplaced poem to me. I'm not sure what I'm missing but it doesn't fit with the rest for me.
[n/a] Limness › OneFingerAnswer 23-Sep-02/10:36 PM Reply
you sir, are absolutely correct. i shall split it and edit accordingly. thank you. that is exactly why id didn't work. damn, i love this site.
[n/a] Limness › Limness 23-Sep-02/10:48 PM Reply
try it on for size now. it still needs work, but it's getting there. thanks :]
[9] OneFingerAnswer › Limness 23-Sep-02/10:50 PM Reply
I love the new ending. Much better. *Applauds or snaps or does whatever it is that he'm supposed to do to show that he likes it*
:)
[9] OneFingerAnswer › OneFingerAnswer 23-Sep-02/10:50 PM Reply
Ahh yes.. *Votes* 9.
[n/a] Limness › OneFingerAnswer 23-Sep-02/10:59 PM Reply
she loves the new vote. thanks again for the help. (note: see also--'making progress'--the cut away other half which descends not quite so slowly into madness.)
[10] god'swife 23-Sep-02/11:16 PM Reply
Fuckin' a. As the dudes would say. You got this case won. Open and shut.
[n/a] poetandknowit › god'swife 24-Sep-02/6:27 PM Reply
Real dudes would not say this. Undereducated dudes at the piss trough at a football game would be more apt at saying this. Please, for future reference, do not lump us all into the same category. I for one when using the word always complete the gerund and never place a consonant behind it. It is beneath my dude heritage.
[9] INTRANSIT 24-Sep-02/5:14 AM Reply
Well, so much for writing about the 9-5 crowd. Covered it better than I might've.9
[5] nentwined 17-Dec-02/11:22 AM Reply
cubefarm. eh.