poemranker ::flight by soccer23

DetailsThe poem, its numbers, and the conversation.

Free verse № 20778

flight

by soccer23

Member since 2002 · Posted 16 Oct 2002 · 5 comments

the small, bruised bird cries deep within. thru bars of hate, and perched on sin. she dreams of endless bright blue sky. to breathe, to see, to live, to fly. her beak sewn shut her wings useless inside the cage an ugly mess. but in her heart a song she sings. and hope this song will one day bring. so through the neverending night the tiny bird dreams of taking flight. to places new, and left unseen. because to the small bruised bird its just a dream.

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mean 4.83 weighted 4.88 rank 10298 views 151 View voting details →

12 votes so far. Yours would make 13.12 votes so far

5 comments

[1] god'swife 16-Oct-02/8:00 PM Reply
Sweet Jesus, this is bizarre and bad.
[7] loneshadow29 17-Oct-02/8:38 AM Reply
interesting read soccer :o)
[6] Quarton 3-Dec-02/3:55 PM Reply
A sad little poem but I liked it. It does need editing as there is a bit of redundancy and some words that are unnecessary. One example:

Bright blue sky deleted so it reads:

She dreams of endless sky. This is minor but so much better IMO. Bright and blue distract from what is a lovely and meaningful sentence. Good luck.
[6] horus8 4-Dec-02/4:24 PM Reply
passe. 6.
[5] Bachus 7-Dec-02/5:09 PM Reply
soccer 23, soccer 23..i get the feeling you like soccer and your numbers 23.