A Moment

by nentwined

Member since 2001 · Posted 16 Mar 2002 · 7 comments

With these lines I do entwine you, your mind, a moment in time: velvet wine.

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56 votes so far. Yours would make 57.56 votes so far

7 comments

[4] anonymous 7-Jul-01/1:27 AM Reply

I like the other version better ("a moment in time") MarkB

[4] anonymous 7-Jul-01/10:02 AM Reply

oooooh... love this one.... Shar

[n/a] nentwined 16-Mar-02/1:21 AM Reply

testing :)

[4] anonymous 16-Oct-01/1:27 AM Reply

pretty, but you SIN! it's 783- a haiku is 575. you question the gospels, eh? :)

[6] -=SeTTle=- 11-May-02/9:29 PM Reply

For some reason this poem seemed really...fast..not short so much but...it flowed fast....not well, not badly either, but it seemed really decisive, almost curt.

[6] Amelia 9-Jul-02/9:29 AM Reply

The last line is not exactly a line but still I like it.

[2] Robert K Foster 20-Jun-03/8:37 AM Reply

too many syllables.Nice, but too many syllables.