DetailsThe poem, its numbers, and the conversation.

As I lay

Member since 2002 · Posted 17 Dec 2002 · Edited 30 Jan 2003 · 8 comments

As I lay here wondering what I should do, I'm also thinking about how much I love you. Wondering why you broke my heart and why you tore my world apart. You told me you loved me and said it was true so I gave you my heart and said I love you too. But the day you told me you were leaving my side all I could do was cry and ask why. Day by day, as I'm stuck in a cold lonely place, the only thing I want to do is see your face. I want to feel your hand in mine, how it used to be all the time, your kisses to me were warm and sweet, you gave me a feeling that no one could beat. The feeling that was in my heart is to the point where it's torn apart. Wondering when things will be right to the point where I don't have to cry all and every night. Hoping that our memories we shared will bring you to care for me as I do for you, the worst feeling in the world is to love someone but not have that someone love you. But I'll love you forever or forever I'll try, that is a promise I'll keep until the day that I die.

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mean 7.75 weighted 5.74 rank 1821 views 274 View voting details →

8 votes so far. Yours would make 9.8 votes so far

8 comments

[6] brokenwing 30-Jan-03/7:50 PM Reply

Liked it, has promise....

[n/a] Ranger 31-Jan-03/12:42 PM Reply

In my opinion this is too much just a letter. Split the lines a bit. I agree with brokenwing, this does have potential, but I don't think that this is fully complete. Keep at it.

[6] thepinkbunnyofdoom 2-Feb-03/4:45 AM Reply

Could be better. Have you read I'm a snob by zero? i think it was zero but the point is you used almost everything he mentions about pimple poems(guilty of that myself). Try reading that then coming back and revising this one. -6-

[n/a] JakeBike › thepinkbunnyofdoom 2-Feb-03/9:26 AM Reply

CONGRATULATIONS!!

you have earned a spot on the list!!!

[n/a] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. › JakeBike 2-Feb-03/10:18 AM Reply

http://www.poemranker.com/poem-details.jsp?id=1415
Can I be on the list, too?

[6] thepinkbunnyofdoom › JakeBike 3-Feb-03/3:43 AM Reply

THANKS!!

I Thought It was just a mistake my name not being on the list but then angain it could have been you just hadn't read any of my poems yet but i appreciate the gesture.

[n/a] Katie › JakeBike 3-Feb-03/9:02 AM Reply

The list? huh?

[10] Stephen Robins 1-Oct-03/8:18 AM Reply

My third leg is providing a prop to my desk after reading your poetry!