poemranker ::The Other Side of Me by Quarton

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Free verse № 37818

The Other Side of Me

Member since 2002 · Posted 23 Jan 2003 · 10 comments

I knew a man, a sweet talker whose busy lips formed honey-coated words of much charm and wit; resembling a candidate. A tempter who could speak without debate, his opinions most convincingly. How he would talk--on and on incessantly, as women gossip over tea, with fabricated sincerity. Only a facade reflected-- erected for others to see. But inside, hidden from view, lived a recluse wishing to live in anonymity. His other self who would not reveal thoughts or dreams, nor words that stood in truth upon that which he believed-- in secrecy conceived. We each share a dual side, an unknown state residing deep inside, where neurons croon a separate tune. A life that lives inside a mind; the esoteric--private kind, impervious to scrutiny. I am the one unseen, not who I pretend to be-- the cryptic other side of me. My real life led--inside my head, in self-imposed obscurity.

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10 comments

[10] vulcan 23-Jan-03/11:42 PM Reply
very well-written Quarton!(and that's because you know exactly what you are writing about!)I enjoyed the flow especially in fourth stanza.10
[n/a] Quarton › vulcan 24-Jan-03/7:24 AM Reply
Thank you vulcan. I really wasn't sure on this one
and am pleased you liked it. My other side thinks I
revealed too much but he has always been rather paranoid:)
[10] god'swife 24-Jan-03/12:05 AM Reply
Excellent. Solitude is the poets Eden. A very fine poem, not my cup od tea but beyond rebuke.
[n/a] Quarton › god'swife 24-Jan-03/7:31 AM Reply
Thanks for the kind words. Probably most poets
can relate to the "other side" though I was not
sure I conveyed this adequately. I guess for some,
I did.
[10] wOrnella Mutiw 24-Jan-03/12:31 AM Reply
You get a kiss and a lollipop from sexy Ornella for your fine, fine poem on the duality of humankind.
[n/a] Quarton › wOrnella Mutiw 24-Jan-03/7:38 AM Reply
Alright! I'll take the kiss and save the lollipop for
later. Then again, maybe I should reverse that. I never
could save the best for last.
[9] horus8 24-Jan-03/1:37 AM Reply
J.D. Salinger.
[n/a] Quarton › horus8 24-Jan-03/7:44 AM Reply
Yes, The Catcher in the Rye has long been a favorite
of mine. Seems hard to believe it was written in 1951.
Where has all the time gone?
[n/a] <~> 24-Jan-03/7:56 AM Reply
very nice indeed.
this is the weakest point:
~
A tempter who could speak
without debate,
his opinions most convincingly.

How he would talk--on and on
incessantly,
~
ironically, the language is not convincing.

i particularly like the way you begin this poem--as though your mask is a stranger. it does feel that way, at times. remember that you are the fabricator and the fabricatee.

perhaps old age, and wisdom help us meld the two.

i will not rank until you convince me. nice effort.

[n/a] Quarton › <~> 24-Jan-03/9:08 AM Reply
Well, I'm not sure can. Perhaps I stressed the "mans" verbosity
too much but I did wish to convey strongly his opinionated
side which is not really how he feels and thinks inside.
A tempter whose words are strewn about profusely and give the
apearance of deep felt meaning and conviction where there is
none... .In saying "without debate", I meant beyond rebuttal
or reproach and the irony of his words being untrue to his
other self while being perceived as sincere and genuine by
those he "charms" with "honey-coated words." ....Hope this
helps and I too suspect a melding as one grows older and
more introspective. Thanks for your comments and I may make
some minor changes tho not sure.