3.85g

Member since 2002 · Posted 25 Jan 2003 · 3 comments

The void is inside and out it pushed me down stole my pride attempting to leave me dead inside From the void she could not run or hide only sit, shit ,vomit, or die you see the VOID is not dead inside feeding on conciousness like and endless feast the void is lord and conqueror of the darkest of beast trying to e-qu@te function to form this void is a vagabond and hardly the norm Far removed from what the mind can see this void is dead in you and me?

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mean 6.20 weighted 5.14 rank 5354 views 174 View voting details →

5 votes so far. Yours would make 6.5 votes so far

3 comments

[n/a] Bill Z Bub 25-Jan-03/7:08 PM Reply

liked the first two stanzas, but the second half lost me.

[4] nentwined 26-Jan-03/4:20 AM Reply

hmm. could use some grammar/spelling work imo. curious what the g is -- before looking at the poem, I expected it to mean gravities. could also use some cliche work, and rhythm.

[10] deleted user 26-Jan-03/7:23 AM Reply

i think the whole thing is great, 10