poemranker ::vent tent by Crakyamuni

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Free verse № 40841

vent tent

Member since 2002 · Posted 19 Feb 2003 · Edited 8 Mar 2003 · 5 comments

Shelter here now! embracing the displaced feelings you were dealing like rocks your whole life through- Fuck you! I never gave in to whatever was clever or benificial and entirely superficial It's official- you're regrets make you seem like the weakness of my knees in a dreams last disease With ease!- I can squeeze the juices out of this life never looking for soul or strife, only sacrifice in the wake of a path readily taken and forsaken {}"}{}{}{}{{"}{"}{} sanity-equivelant to vanity but there are times when it seems less than a shit riddled dream it's here that fear lingers and tears this place is all too familiar and yet never there but why even express it's insight for those who couldn't or shouldn't care.

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mean 4.57 weighted 4.88 rank 9915 views 238 View voting details →

7 votes so far. Yours would make 8.7 votes so far

5 comments

[6] horus8 20-Feb-03/11:57 AM Reply
I have never heard a buddhist come out of left field like you just did to express his feelings in such a un-monkishishish way. You are my hero. you wouldn't know budha from Malthusian. maybe that's your gimmeck? give em hell kid! here i packed you a lunch and even wrote your name on it, so i wouldn't forget who you are and you would never remember and nobody brought a fgucking snack anyway, Chip.
[7] THE GOD OF DEATH 5-Mar-03/1:49 AM Reply
Creative use of rhyme... but also maybe a problem? Rhyme can be troublesome when it comes to serious poetry. But I do like your rhymes... creative. You might want to look at the continuity of your explitives. They should be somewhat close in length, but your first one is longer than the others.
[n/a] Crakyamuni › THE GOD OF DEATH 5-Mar-03/8:04 AM Reply
thanks for the feed back guy. I have a great deal to learn about rhyme form.
[7] THE GOD OF DEATH › Crakyamuni 8-Mar-03/1:13 AM Reply
Rhyme is a bitch pure and simple. Hardly taken seriously these days along with meter. People see it as a dead art form. But I do like that fact taht you're trying it and strongly encourage it. Screw with it. Don't be afraid to do stupid rhymes. Who knows. And cool brackets and stuff.
[10] Bachus 5-Mar-03/5:11 PM Reply
Speaking of squeezing juice.
here's a molatov cocktail.

http://www.gangbox.com/mp3/my%20name%20is%20pan.mp3


omething i did in one take between shoe fittings, and reading asian jugs.