Recipe for Regaining Youth

-First, enter hospital through automtic doors, and enter delivery suite. -Next find woman in flows of labour, tell midwife you are a medical student then, when concentration is at a low and umbilical chord has been cut(preferably, but not necessarily), remove infant from grasp of midwife. -Run as fast as humanly possible out throgh front exit, but windows are optional. -Upon road, remove driver from seat of their vehicle and get into 5th gear after 2 minutes of revs. -Avoiding local authorities, make your way to your home. -Place infant in sink and wash to get clean(it adds to the affect) -Fetch blender from cupboard, and switch on lowest setting. -Ensuring infant does not yet touch the blades, hold inside until fully revved. -After 10 mins lower 8lb infants feet into revolving mechanism and enjoy as burbling soon becomes high, pitched cries. -After lacerations distort defining features of infants feet, switch to maximum setting and gently apply pressure to dome of skull. -Soon after you will be left with aprox 2 litres of baby juice. -chill in freexer for 1/2 hr then serve in a tall glass. Great for Parties. Ingesting this is a sure fire way of putting lost youth back in you.