poemranker ::Migrating Storks by Blue Magpie

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Sonnet № 50707

Migrating Storks

Member since 2002 · Posted 28 May 2003 · 6 comments

Appearing in the southern sky each Spring, as if by magic from the clouded sun, they travel North on still and quiet wing to make new life, where their’s was once begun. One by courageous one at first they pass then two and three, and then in groups they come, until the sky is speckled with such mass of wonder that the watcher is struck dumb. For hours at the border, passport in hand, entangled in a queue I watch them go. Who, flying free, can quickly cross the land while I and my possessions wait below, a silk wrapped bundle in a web of greed, frustrated by the things I think I need.

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mean 7.00 weighted 5.54 rank 2529 views 192 View voting details →

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6 comments

[8] Bachus 28-May-03/9:29 PM Reply
"to make new life, where their’s once begun." was what you were looking for.

Otherwise succulentio.
[8] Bachus 28-May-03/9:31 PM Reply
better yet

"to make new lifes, where their life once begun."
[n/a] Blue Magpie › Bachus 29-May-03/8:00 PM Reply
OK I see what you are saying, but perhaps lives, in a sentence structured like that it should be began, the was keeps the tenses correct and allows me to use begun.
[7] fevriere › Blue Magpie 12-Jan-04/2:18 PM Reply
Shame on you! Theirs has no apostrophe, as far as I'm concerned.
[7] fevriere 12-Jan-04/2:13 PM Reply
Simplistic but telling. I feel the part about the storks is slightly lacking, not really inforamtive. Perhaps relish whatever metaphor strikes you. Or perhaps keep it this way.
[10] Sasha 9-May-04/8:43 PM Reply
Ten!

Nuff said