Iceman

Member since 2003 · Posted 11 Jun 2003 · 3 comments

I feel like life has no worth anymore, Nothings real and this is the deal, Thereâs nothing for me on this earth anymore. People are so distant living for other peopleâs lives, Even emotions are efficient, Everyoneâs playing husbands and wives. Worries over work, worries over money, Just 2 things that hurt and its not fucking funny. Life can create an iceman of hate. Years of taking orders can take its toll, Buy by confronting fears your breaking borders, And life can take our youth, But thereâs one simple truth, It cannot take your soul. And that poses the questionâ¦ Do we possess one? Do some people cry more than you? Some people lie more than you? Do some people live less stressful lives? Do we all go to Church and confess all our lies? Who cares enough to spare a thought? For âIcemenâ like me are not easily bought. They live their lives âstealing the feelingâ, Leaving a trail of lovers reeling. They are wound you wait for, That you live your life to hate for.

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mean 5.71 weighted 5.19 rank 4627 views 173 View voting details →

7 votes so far. Yours would make 8.7 votes so far

3 comments

[8] scitz 11-Jun-03/3:40 PM Reply

Not a bad try 2nsd last line needs changing, quite evocative lose the middle

[7] richa 12-Jun-03/10:45 AM Reply

not a bad try at all

I would say however your use of words such as soul and truth is perhaps unqualified with argument and image

[7] thepinkbunnyofdoom 17-Jun-03/12:48 PM Reply

Again horrible 1st stanza, I'd ditch it all together. Other than that not bad, borderline cliche, at parts the ryhming works, in others I wish you'd just come out say what your saying how you'd say it naturally(i.e. you stopped ryhming third stanza, and it should have stuck that way). -7-