poemranker ::A Passing Love by razorgrin

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Free verse № 5387

A Passing Love

by razorgrin

Member since 2002 · Posted 19 Jul 2002 · 21 comments

One fine May day in a crowded cafe I sat with a coffee and scone but then from behind me a voice did say "May I join you?" I'm no longer alone. She was Jane, her eyes a bottomless blue. Like the moon and the sun she did shine. As I stood,she did too, said "I'm going with you" and we left with her ivory arm wrapped in mine. For hours I walked the streets of this town with this radiant girl on my arm. She clung closer in neighbourhoods seeming run-down I promised with me she'd come to no harm. On the sidewalk before us a cat caught a bird, played with it before letting it die. My sweet Jane watched in shock and murmured some words and I saw that she'd started to cry. She dried her eyes as we walked from that lane and wondered where next we would roam when the clouds burst in torrents of ice-cold rain I suggested some tea at my home. We talked and we kissed and drank our tea she with honey, I took mine neat when oblivion crept up on her but not me I confessed hers was tampered to make it more sweet. You've stayed in my arms, as I have in yours my dearest darling love, Jane. But morning has come and we'll go to the moors you'll be buried benath cold grey rain.

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21 comments

[n/a] horus8 20-Jul-02/12:28 AM Reply
I would like to say that i was dissapointed with your pathetic involuntary lack of description(as you were with my poem ashes) but if you look at the date that i wrote mine( ten years ago) when i was a herion addict and just getting out of prison, but i won't i'm not that pathetically
critical. i just remember what my pain fed me for and why. i don't have to make shit up to get attention. i'm honest and balanced. what's your excuse? Canada, a shitty mall job. dad get mad cuz you pierced your clit. quit looking for excuses. grow up and understand some people write from the heart. Depraved spoiled brats write from the mall. comprende? some people experience worse things in life then just being bored and angry about shit that doesn't matter. try traveling and getting a real job it might help. emphasise on the word might. razora
[n/a] razorgrin 20-Jul-02/12:17 PM Reply
whoopty-do, you were on smack and in prison. that doesn't make you "deep" or "gritty", that makes you a fuckup. Actually I work for the government, I'm just based in the mall and i'm paid exceedingly well for it. I simply felt like telling a story not about me and I didn't feel like writing endless paragraphs about necrophilic sex.Writing about your immense pain is all well and good but it gets tedious as all fuck after a while, especially for the reader. I personally would rather write about a variety of things.And what the hell is your issue with Canada anyway??We have been voted the best place in the world to live.And the States are..gunfucking rednecks, pedophile murderers, polygamous snakehandlers and Michael Jackson. Seriously, though, you're one to talk about real jobs.Actor, musician, junkie your resume is truly impressive. Try thinking outside your personal experience, it might help your writing.Emphasis on might.
[9] -=SeTTle=- 21-Jul-02/2:51 PM Reply
He's also a parent, don't forget that part. This is a good poem you know. And Canada has public healthcare. You know that private healthcare is morally wrong, right? Now, as a black jewish cripple with aids and a Harvard degree, I should point out that writing about misery is always tedious, which is why I mix it up on poemranker. For a change of pace, click my username and go for the gold. An array, nay, a long list of poems will be at your fingertips, poems of all types, poems to make you laugh, cry, etc. So why not do yourself a favor, and stop throwing that caber / click on the name Settle / and pluck off one of my petals / hold it in your hand / and let the wind blow it o'er the land / giving head to the living dead.
[n/a] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 22-Jul-02/4:39 PM Reply
Look at us guys! Bickering like children! I don't know about you, but I write about issues.
[n/a] razorgrin 22-Jul-02/4:44 PM Reply
Indeed you do, DA. Let's all be friends.(holds out arms for group hug)
[n/a] horus8 22-Jul-02/5:59 PM Reply
Fine.. lets.. i'll make a serious effort to be empathetic from now on. promise. ASLS
[9] -=SeTTle=- 22-Jul-02/8:59 PM Reply
FAGS
[10] limonade 27-Jul-02/10:04 PM Reply
They call me the wild rose...
Well, that's what this poem makes me think.
[n/a] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 4-Aug-02/5:13 PM Reply
horus8, your continued use of the term 'asl' as an insult marks you as a cad. And as for you, Razorgrin, don't you know being gaye is evil? The Bible told me so, Jesus loves me this I know, for.
[n/a] horus8 4-Aug-02/5:52 PM Reply
oh..indeed..surely that wasn't my point. god knows how i enjoy dining on all of your cutting edge abbreviations. yourL33's and yourAsls. and your all of your other timeless classics. i don't have a clue as to what any of it means.i'm so sheltered and eager.oh master of the round turd..i beseech you.. have patience..i know not of the power of pascal and cobal, and how you must have been one of the leading fore skins or perhaps creator of these fine prehistoric languages, or perhaps we are back to the days of pagers and upside down love messages..here flip your monitor upside down cuz here comes one now
"em erob uoy" "nillicinep yrt" your talk of costant shitting is as stimulating as me and my uncle farting at five and ten at grandma's kitchen table. piles and piles of fart and shit tapes stacked up until i fell in love and then realized the errors of my gross ways. life is not all poo, and if you hold your gas and talk in secret internet codes your dreams will come true. mickey mouse and donald fuck off said go put on your costume and join the procedings. god knows your fans are waiting. ASL! DIKTRKL! CNTPUMPR!
p.s you don't really have to flip the screen you can use a mirror if you still have any left in your house since the accident. vanerialwarts.bigstick.ireland.saltmine??
[n/a] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 4-Aug-02/6:01 PM Reply
Thy praise or dispraise is to me alike; one doth not stroke me, not the other strike.
[8] Venus 9-Aug-02/1:17 PM Reply
Engaging, sick, and wrong - enjoyed it!
[n/a] dougsoderstrom 19-Aug-02/8:52 AM Reply
Dear Razorgrin:

Thanks for the compliment.
Why copyright? Well, I don't know for sure-----It just seemed like the most prudent thing to do----?
Doug
[9] Christof 18-Sep-02/7:02 AM Reply
The comments on this poem have become seriously deranged.... I just like the story of your poem. Drugging your lovers is the best way of maintaining a relationship. But the first stanza doesn't rhyme in my accent - we say 'sconn' not 'scown'. Please be more considerate of your southern English readers.
[n/a] razorgrin › Christof 18-Sep-02/7:15 AM Reply
sorry honey. being canadian, my southern-englishness lacks a lot. The poem is set in england, though. Thanks for the compliment though.The poem was just meant to be a story, and some failed to realize it.yay for Christof! Off to ritual studies for me.
[9] Christof › razorgrin 18-Sep-02/7:19 AM Reply
I'll let you off. My Canadian sucks so I can't really complain. Enjoy studying rituals. This is mine: wake up, rue the fact that I just woke up, haul my carcass into work, assiduously hide paper in my litter bin, stretch out lunch to an hour and a half, go home, poke my eyes out with sticks, sleep. Repeat.
[n/a] razorgrin › Christof 19-Sep-02/1:34 PM Reply
we have studied human sacrifices and tooth-brushing. I'll do a little write-up on yours.
[9] deleted user 17-Jan-03/4:30 PM Reply
alright i am done talkin shit back and forth.... if you think i suck that bad then help me ... im sorry for whatever pissed you off that i said.... forgive me? its your choice.
[n/a] razorgrin › deleted user 18-Jan-03/5:50 PM Reply
I don't remember what I said. i doubt i was even that pissed. whatever. peace.
[0] sk8boardandpoems 25-Feb-03/3:52 PM Reply
quote on quote: no one cares about yuo not even your spleen
[n/a] razorgrin › sk8boardandpoems 26-Feb-03/7:06 AM Reply
Not a quote. When I told you that, I spelled it right. It's in terrible form to scavenge the heckles of the person you're trying to insult after you realize that you're utterly outgunned.