poemranker ::Fridge by Birdpia

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Free verse № 62023

Fridge

Member since 2003 · Posted 24 Aug 2003 · 2 comments

Days by days, I could see the winter was getting colder, As outside was raining snow heavily.. Nights by nights, Besides the loneliness accompanying me, The breeze was making me remember, All the things I wished I could forget.. As the snow dropped, Courage inside myself was increasing, Because I felt I was back to the days I longed the most That's when you lied on my shoulders before the fridge As the snow vanished, The winter went to call the spring, To show off all the green leaves you love most.. When I dreamt of you so much, When I missed you so much, I would go back to the fridge, Waiting for the next winter..

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mean 2.00 weighted 4.64 rank 12345 views 164 View voting details →

3 votes so far. Yours would make 4.3 votes so far

2 comments

[0] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 11-Sep-03/4:45 PM Reply
Ten things about this poeme that make it the most bland and mediocre thing I have ever read:

1. The constant use of two thirds of an ellipsis.
2. Typographical errors.
3. Reference to an obscene sex dream.
4. Mismatched and overwrought metaphor.
5. Contains a fridge but no ham.
6. The worst possible sort of tedious self-obsession.
7. An unimaginative and frankly insensitive title.
8. Hypocritical overuse of prepositions.
9. The category is 'Free verse'.
10. You're wrong, and you're a grotesquely ugly freak.

Thanks.
[n/a] Shardik › -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 11-Sep-03/7:38 PM Reply
Yes, the dark one sums it up beautifully, I do confess.