poemranker ::Up for a game? by LuckyJoe

DetailsThe poem, its numbers, and the conversation.

Free verse № 65503

Up for a game?

by LuckyJoe

Member since 2003 · Posted 17 Sep 2003 · 6 comments

Dazing off in pure entertainment, A belt sea sawing, the pivot an index finger, Not paying attention to the conversation around, All that matters is this simple thing. Attached to the belt a circular case, The minds embrace encased, Time for the unleashing has come. Unzip releasing the demons cage, Two unite as one, A cue stick, their favorite toy. “Up for a game ten or twenty a rack?”

Rate it

0 is the worst, 10 the best. Pick a number, add a comment if you like, then send it. Keys: 0–9 pick, Enter sends.

mean 6.71 weighted 5.46 rank 2868 views 191 View voting details →

7 votes so far. Yours would make 8.7 votes so far

6 comments

[8] Druid_Girl_1984 17-Sep-03/11:57 AM Reply
i will bless this poem with an 8.
[7] horus8 17-Sep-03/2:59 PM Reply
C notes preferably
[n/a] LuckyJoe › horus8 17-Sep-03/3:13 PM Reply
C notes don't go on single games here. I'm not that stupid anyone can win one game. But ta-won spots go on single games (twenty) mini of 5 games. C notes go on races typically to 10 with weight. Play eight or nine ball? Ring nine and three ball are big gambling games around here. Three ball is a joke, break as hard as you can a little off from head ball drop one or two every time...easy money.
[7] nentwined 17-Sep-03/6:21 PM Reply
cute imagery, flow I think could make this really nice. 7.
[n/a] LuckyJoe › nentwined 18-Sep-03/12:53 AM Reply
Thank you for the vote and the comment. I'll try to find a little bit of time to attempt to make it flow. Sometime tomorrow I'm sure I'll give it a look over. Thanks for the ideas. They should be useful I see the lack of flow.
[7] DreamerSupreme 18-Sep-03/12:11 PM Reply
an improvement, you have been struggling for awhile, but this is proof that there is hope. 7.