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Life/Death (revised)

Member since 2002 · Posted 31 Jul 2002 · Edited 1 Aug 2002 · 7 comments

Life Birds chirping Grass growing Babies crying Sun shining The world turning beautiful to breathe air Death Birds silent Grass dead Babies no longer crying Sun blackened The world is dying beautiful to breathe your last breath

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7 comments

[10] deleted user 31-Jul-02/10:45 PM Reply

Its really well writen,i like it

[2] razorgrin 1-Aug-02/6:05 AM Reply

the only redeeming part of this is the dead fetuses.

[3] <~> 1-Aug-02/7:05 AM Reply

a line is drawn. i stand with the dead fetuses.

[n/a] devotedwonder 1-Aug-02/8:19 AM Reply

i changed the dead fetus part, and i hope that this version does not offenend anyone. I am sorry if the last version did.

[2] razorgrin 1-Aug-02/8:31 AM Reply

GODDAMN YOU TO THE DEEPEST CIRCLE OF HELL! The fetuses were the only redeeming part of the othrwise inane piece of drivel!

[3] <~> 1-Aug-02/8:35 AM Reply

if you feel the need to change so as not to offend, poetry is not for you.

[0] ==Doylum 1-Aug-02/8:49 AM Reply

Poo/Wee(unrevised)

Poo/

Fart brewing/
Poo slurping/
crap shooting/
shit steaming/
the bowl is filling/
beautiful log to see/

Wee/

bowels filling/
piss steaming/
wee gleaming/
urine burning/
gentials hurting/
what did you put in that tea.