poemranker ::broken by GekoHawaii

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Other № 71111

broken

Member since 2003 · Posted 19 Oct 2003 · 3 comments

Stranded in destructions wake I cower in my own mistakes As support structures start to shake With depression's strengthened quakes I try to withstand this cruel force As lies fuel now a new remorse For trusting those who are the source Or this depression's blade so coarse I feel I'm outside this harsh game As others motives still do maim And I am searching for a name With still no foeman to proclaim Yet all this while the one I trust Has chosen me aside to thrust With their own pain a strengthened gust That tears at me with cause unjust And so I wait now growing weak As futures light becomes so bleak And answers still I long to seek Yet all I find are thoughts oblique

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mean 5.67 weighted 5.18 rank 4826 views 163 View voting details →

6 votes so far. Yours would make 7.6 votes so far

3 comments

[8] leonxic 19-Oct-03/6:25 AM Reply
I don't like many poems on this site. This one's not bad.8
[7] Shuushin 19-Oct-03/7:18 AM Reply
okay, I was tolerating the expression because the meter is perfect up to stanza three.

I think, too, btw that you've just barely straddled the comfortable side of unforced rhyme - so, not bad in that regard.
[1] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 19-Oct-03/2:00 PM Reply
9054F003

Truly shit.