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Mr. America (Hunting Season) (Free verse) by SupremeDreamer
Hunting season, the animals linger and I sit beneath the pine tree receiving judgement while I whistle a tune morbid and mocking. Dead rabbits strewn across my lap daydreaming, head full 'a wonder about when I can cook them and discontinue ignoring the music of the hammer. My pike decorated, with the head of my lawyer, the bastard said I was insane. I never liked the spineless turd anyway; a slight road bump, and now I have a fool for a client, but alas, folks always thought me so. That hammer pounds hard now.. seems the judge demands that I pay attention, causing me to throw my blade into his skull, shutting him up forever. Thank heavens, he was a boring little shit lecturing me like that.

Up the ladder: The Upside-Down Frown
Down the ladder: (no subject)

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Arithmetic Mean: 5.2
Weighted score: 5.0238404
Overall Rank: 7409
Posted: October 21, 2003 5:02 PM PDT; Last modified: October 21, 2003 5:02 PM PDT
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[1] poetandknowit @ | 21-Oct-03/7:10 PM | Reply
Considering it is painfully obvious from your imagery that you have never hunted before and are relying of clichéd observations from your past and maybe the dictionary, the fact that you use it as the base metaphor for what you are trying to say is, how I should put this, ridiculous. Thanks for you time. Rally other than that it is quite lovely. And such original thinking.
[n/a] SupremeDreamer @ > poetandknowit | 22-Oct-03/1:34 PM | Reply
its not a _BASE_ metaphor, first off, so who gives a shit?

second, so what if ive never hunted animals?
plus, animals werent my target.. you getting my drift captain nemo?

but its nice to know that youve suddenly taken an interest.

good bye. :)
[n/a] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. @ > SupremeDreamer | 22-Oct-03/2:07 PM | Reply
What do you think about hunting?
[n/a] <~> @ > SupremeDreamer | 22-Oct-03/2:30 PM | Reply
okay, so if hunting was not you base metaphor, what is?
help a stupid blonde out, wouldja?
[n/a] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. @ > <~> | 22-Oct-03/3:40 PM | Reply
Something lewd;
Something rewd;
Something newd;
[5] Jill Stockinger @ | 2-Jan-21/6:49 PM | Reply
In the second stanza, when you use the word daydreaming, grammatically it appears you are saying the dead rabbits are daydreaming...
No comma between decorated and with the head...
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