poemranker ::I smell coffee by Princess_Snowflake

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Other № 77927

I smell coffee

by Princess_Snowflake

Member since 2003 · Posted 18 Dec 2003 · 18 comments

I smell a strong smell of coffee floating around the air in here I am craving for coffee with a rich, strong taste I want to drink coffee with anything I want I cannot stop craving until I have a big taste of coffee from the tasty coffee beans It smells like pure Colombian and Arabica or espresso I smell coffee around here and want a big taste of it I want the taste in my mouth that would keep me asking for more and more I cannot smile without any coffee until I taste it I cannot be awake until I taste the coffee Why can't I have some? Why can't I crave for coffee? Why can't I pour myself some hot, delecious coffee in the morning? I smell coffee everyday and feel the taste in my tongue.

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mean 4.82 weighted 4.91 rank 9684 views 218 View voting details →

11 votes so far. Yours would make 12.11 votes so far

18 comments

[0] Everyone 18-Dec-03/10:22 AM Reply
Line 1: "I smell a strong smell of coffee"

This is a stupid line. Of course you smell a SMELL of coffee. You can't smell anything other than a SMELL. So to say you smell a SMELL of coffee is like saying "I tasted a taste", or "I felt a feeling", or "I dreamt a dream". You should have written something like "A strong smell of coffee fills my heart with brownful lust"

Line 2: "floating around the air in here"

Again redundancy. If you can smell a smell of coffee, it's obvious that the smell is floating around in the air because smells can only be transmitted to the nose glands via a gaseous medium. You should have left this line out.

Line 3: "I am craving for coffee"

Sounds awkward. You should have said something like "Oh precious bean! Why do you tempt me so!?"

...

Line 14: "I want the taste in my mouth"

Do you, indeed? I want the taste in my ear.

Line 21: "Why can't I crave for coffee?"

I don't understand this line at all. I thought the whole point in this poeme was that you DO crave for coffee. I can understand you craving coffee but, for whatever reason, being unable to drink it. But unable to crave it? That's just crazy talk.

Overall: A good try! I'm sure you'll be an excellent poete in no time!!!!!1111
[n/a] <{Baba^Yaga}> › Everyone 18-Dec-03/9:26 PM Reply
This my friend is your talent in life. lol
[8] miraclemaker › Everyone 19-Dec-03/8:19 AM Reply
Listen everyone,
you are hypercritical!
this is poetry - may redundancies abound again and again!!
[0] Everyone › miraclemaker 19-Dec-03/10:11 AM Reply
Redundancy aside, by no stretch of the imagination is this a good poeme. Even if it was just a block of prose casually written without any intention of presenting it as "An Art", I'd still have serious doubts about the author's status as a Non-Gigantic-Dunce. Cheers.
[n/a] middenHeap › Everyone 27-Jan-04/5:26 PM Reply
Poetry is supposed to evoke strong internal images. And this pome evoked a very strong internal image in me as I read it, of Princess_Snowflake with, er, something in her mouth. Therefore I must conclude that it is excellent poetry indeed.
[n/a] zodiac › middenHeap 27-Jan-04/5:31 PM Reply
I don't think she's old enough for, um, coffee, you sicko.
[n/a] middenHeap › zodiac 27-Jan-04/5:51 PM Reply
I roast my own coffee. NO wait! I meant that only in the non-metaphorical sense, really. I mean really I do, I have a roaster and I buy the beans green and that way I can roast them exactly the way I, um, like them.
[n/a] Hallmark › zodiac 9-May-05/5:39 PM Reply
16 is old enough for coffee isn't it?
[n/a] Hallmark › Hallmark 9-May-05/5:40 PM Reply
They're old enough when they leave school, and they leave school at 3:30.
[8] miraclemaker 19-Dec-03/8:17 AM Reply
delicious.
my sentiments exactly.
but it must be organic - fewer chemicals.
"why can't i?"
YES
[7] richa 19-Dec-03/8:33 AM Reply
Too much redundancy, shame because at least you tried to deviate from the usual addiction poems on this site.

'i am a coffee addict/i will drink more of it/ until my toes fall off.
[7] titan69 3-Jan-04/12:56 AM Reply
If you can be so hooked on coffee. Never try DRUGS?

I like this poem. Wright poems just how you feel
dont take note of these first grade English dicks
who tell you every things wrong.......
[3] andrewjthomas › titan69 27-Jan-04/2:13 PM Reply
oh yes, please "wright" them, but for the love of god don't write them!
[10] lastobelus 3-Jan-04/7:37 AM Reply
Oh YES baby. This coffee, it VIBRATES? Seriously I don't care how many rules this poem breaks I love it. It is robust, exuberant, with an innocent aftertaste of blossoms, full of body. And full of metaphorical body, or at least i read it that way, but I'm just an old lech. I COULD NOT STOP thinking "blowjob" the whole way through. I WANT TO BE COFFEE!!!! Can I be coffee, can I please please? KEEP going snowflake, I think you are the next Princess Bukowski.
[2] INTRANSIT 10-Jan-04/8:00 AM Reply
http://poemranker.com/poem-details.jsp?id=46373

'nuff said?
[n/a] middenHeap › INTRANSIT 27-Jan-04/5:24 PM Reply
This pome is vastly better than yours. Yours didn't make me think of getting a blowjob AT ALL!
[10] Goad 23-Jan-05/3:47 PM Reply
one year later, this pome still gives me a giant hard-on. Princess_Snowflake, you are the bestest lolita poetess on the net!
[3] cheese.doodles 14-Mar-07/3:01 PM Reply
grating due to repetition and grammatically incorrect.