poemranker ::Grieving by d35

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Free verse № 78960

Grieving

Member since 2003 · Posted 8 Jan 2004 · Edited 24 Jan 2004 · 20 comments

His inner eye wouldn’t stop crying A sorry sight to see tears dripping down metaphysical cheeks He loved it better when he couldn’t feel why can’t he cut this loose disassemble it bury it in the cold grown covered in a wet dew Running away doesn’t help when will it die? when will he? his thought saturated the cold sweat of depression a colorless rose made of thorns no use throwing it away will just prick the skin of his emotion what's going to save him? “oh it hurts inside, when will we die?”

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20 comments

[n/a] deleted user 24-Jan-04/3:23 PM Reply
Je pense que vous avez signifié pour taper le "sol".
[n/a] Goad › deleted user 24-Jan-04/3:40 PM Reply
really? I thought they meant gown. You know, after they cut this loose [off the corpse], they bury it [wrapped up] in the [corpse's] cold gown. Makes more sense, don't you think? I think it's pretty clear the pome is about the fevered thoughts of a serial killer.
[n/a] deleted user › Goad 24-Jan-04/3:41 PM Reply
S'il vous plaît recevoir hors et toucher plus de gens
[n/a] zodiac › Goad 25-Jan-04/8:44 AM Reply
It's 'ground' not 'grown'.
[n/a] Goad › zodiac 25-Jan-04/10:56 AM Reply
No. Gown. Incontrovertibly gown.
[n/a] zodiac › Goad 25-Jan-04/11:48 AM Reply
If it isn't gown, it should be. But I think he means ground.
[n/a] d35 › deleted user 24-Jan-04/4:47 PM Reply
what are you saying? I only know english
[n/a] deleted user › d35 24-Jan-04/4:53 PM Reply
Pourquoi les hommes gais?
[n/a] d35 › deleted user 24-Jan-04/4:57 PM Reply
maybe b/c your gay
[n/a] d35 › d35 24-Jan-04/4:57 PM Reply
im just kidding
[n/a] deleted user › d35 24-Jan-04/5:08 PM Reply
Zwei nacktes Wirbeln von fröhlichen Männern unter Ihren Höhlen säumt.
[10] MaliqaTara › deleted user 24-Jan-04/8:37 PM Reply
ja liebe ich meine fröhlichen Männer
[n/a] Goad › MaliqaTara 25-Jan-04/6:24 AM Reply
War dass ein Ausdruck, was tomcheese hat gesagt? Mein Deutsch ist zu schleckt es zu verstehen. Es hat mir kein Sinn gemacht, eben wann ich habe google und leo benutzt.
[10] MaliqaTara › Goad 25-Jan-04/8:41 AM Reply
OH-, Brunnen kannte ich nicht diesen Ausdruck. Zur Vorliebe für mich Haha. Danke für das Erklären mir
[n/a] Goad › MaliqaTara 25-Jan-04/10:49 AM Reply
Ja, aber ich habe gar nichts erklärt, sondern habe ich eine Erklärung gesucht! Jedenfalls, morgen werde ich einem Kollegen fragen, ob was der tomcheese gesagt hat, macht Sinn oder.
[n/a] Goad › deleted user 25-Jan-04/12:21 PM Reply
Kleine wichser, das ist kein Deutsch.
[n/a] d35 › deleted user 24-Jan-04/4:54 PM Reply
um maybe ground, or gown
[10] deleted user 24-Jan-04/4:44 PM Reply
nice, but maybe something happy next time
[n/a] d35 › deleted user 24-Jan-04/4:49 PM Reply
"happy" like your B.S. :-*
[3] Sisterwolf 28-Dec-05/7:09 PM Reply
Some deep emotions here. Line 7 should say 'ground' instead of grown. The odd spacing tears up your cohesiveness. When you have good stuff to say, it
doesn't need a lot of odd punctuation . . .
A rewrite would be my suggestion. I would love to
read it if you do one.