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Pathetic lill' me..

Member since 2004 · Posted 29 Jan 2004 · 4 comments

Pathetic lil' me Wanna be the imperfect star Shining his dreams in Purple ink.. When i know It's only a dream.. A fantasy A game i play with my ownself In my very quiet life.. So pathetic me, Instead of believing.. Instead of reaching for the guts Crying, leaping and whining Pointless, he wouldn't care No one will.. What a pathetic self.. I lost in my own game A game created by myself i thought I'm the Queen of Love and you're the Jack of Spade? Hush pathetic me.. When tommorow comes Just leave your shadow there Imprinted in time A memento..

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4 comments

[n/a] Christof 30-Jan-04/5:44 AM Reply

Is this a satire? It's very badly spelt, whatever it is.

[n/a] cleverdevice › Christof 30-Jan-04/6:37 AM Reply

Too right, let's go through it, class:
'Wanna' instead of 'want to'
'Purple'... doesn't need a capital p
'I' instead of 'i'
'It's' - no apostrophe with this 'its only a dream', its not a possesive, young lady.
Again, 'I', not 'i'
Third time, clumseYdaiseY, capital I for the self, thought you had sorted it out two lines before.
And a fourth!!!! Detention young lady, I've warned you about incorrect use of 'I'!
Now you've missed the capital of 'And'. May only be a conjunction, but its still important.
Double detention, you missed the capital T for 'There'. You appear to have been registered for last week, I can only conclude you were too busy passing notes to concentrate on what I was saying about the higher case.
Now algebra...

[6] NanceXToo 31-Jan-04/12:12 PM Reply

er...cleverdevice...it's only a dream certaintly should have an apostrophe. It's a contraction of "it is." And you forgot to mention that "tomorrow" is spelled wrong. :D
Not a bad poem, though, clumsey.

[6] NanceXToo 31-Jan-04/12:13 PM Reply

er..and that's "certainly" not "certaintly" hehe