DetailsThe poem, its numbers, and the conversation.

she is...

Member since 2001 · Posted 16 Mar 2002 · 10 comments

of earth and spice, had carried in on wind crisp of air and orbs, sky blue tinged apple cheeks with flesh begging to be bitten flamed ropes falling over shoulders, i'm smitten

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mean 5.09 weighted 5.09 rank 6366 views 196 View voting details →

23 votes so far. Yours would make 24.23 votes so far

10 comments

[n/a] nentwined 16-Mar-02/1:21 AM Reply

very cool =)

[5] anonymous 4-Apr-02/1:15 PM Reply

you have a decent lexicon..... of images and scents and experiences...you should keep writing. Just keep it real. Close to the earth. Write poems like you're driving a tank....!

[8] Owner of the Sky 11-May-02/2:56 AM Reply

Talk about having a crush on someone! *L*

[5] anonymous 19-May-02/12:23 AM Reply

OK .. slight; pity about "begging to be bitten", the rest is fresh.

[6] deleted user 10-Jun-02/1:27 AM Reply

Beautiful- though the meter is a bit wierd. I'd suggest either making it non-rhyming, or rearranging the lines to make them line up exactly.

[9] Lenore 17-Jul-02/9:20 AM Reply

I don't quite understand it, but I love the words; earth and spice, air and orbs. (9)

[0] deleted user 17-Aug-02/8:28 PM Reply

What are apple cheeks? "Had carried" is an odd transition and possibly inncorrect. It confuses the entire attempt.

[9] <~> 30-Aug-02/7:57 AM Reply

she sounds tempting and delicious. i don't think you need 'had' in the first line.

[7] Christof 30-Aug-02/8:29 AM Reply

The second two lines redeem the first, which are confused. By the end though, I'm smitten too.

[6] cyan9 27-Sep-05/1:45 AM Reply

Cute, the word spice gathers a bit of interest here. It is short and simple and perhaps a bit too simple to stand on its own, inclusion as a verse within a larger piece may produce a more involving result.