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Diary entry (edit)

Member since 2002 · Posted 12 Apr 2004 · Edited 28 Apr 2004 · 8 comments

The omens gather like clouds: A hefty wood pigeon lands on a maple, upsets the grin of a wet leaf, rain falls on my head-- she is beautiful the butterfly claps, earth puts forth its crooked mirror.

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8 comments

[9] deleted user 12-Apr-04/4:47 PM Reply

Your poems are mysteries, wooden pigeons landing in trees. I can only latch onto glimpses of heftiness, grins on wet leaves, and think of myself as beautiful. Or did I misread the signs?

[8] horus8 12-Apr-04/4:55 PM Reply

Loved the first stanza.

[8] horus8 12-Apr-04/4:56 PM Reply

Really to be frank and not Peter? Your last line Peters out, and that's why you have five 8's. People are being kind, but we all know what that means? It means your last line is poopy.

[9] edpeterson 13-Apr-04/6:28 AM Reply

I kinda like it. Quick sad statement on misinterpretation, that could easily be misinterpreted. LOL,. The wet leaf has no choice but to let go.

this is kinda funny in a way.

[10] zodiac 13-Apr-04/7:12 AM Reply

Much better. But with the new, longer footnote you need to find another way to set it apart, methinks.

[9] Shuushin 13-Apr-04/6:05 PM Reply

Well, I'm still a little miffed that you didn't come to my desperate aid on "The People" - but I forgive you.

hefty wood pigeon... is this a type of pigeon, or are you telling me the pigeon is hefty and made of wood? I sincerely thought the latter until I started trying to help you come up with a way to say it was hefty without saying "hefty". And now I feel dumb.

Is the last stanza part of a question?

maple it is, maple it isn't...

[10] Caducus 14-Apr-04/5:51 AM Reply

Agree with horus, the 1st stanza is quite expuisite in the way it is written. You are a fine talent richard.

[9] deleted user 28-Apr-04/1:50 PM Reply

Since you told us the wood is the habitat, I'll believe you, but woud not have thought of it that way. Otherwise, I like it much.