poemranker ::Thaw by <~>

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Free verse № 98002

Thaw

by <~>

Member since 2002 · Posted 21 Apr 2004 · 13 comments

Walking past the ice-logged dam I catch that heady smell coming off the ledge: wet earth swollen with velevt flesh, a welling promise amidst all this mess, this melt. I lift my eyes to rounding mounds of exploding growth tumefying like bonsai'd mountains, forested dense. Green and sweet, it speaks to me of softness, so I press against its pile, flatten gently, test for spring.

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13 comments

[8] Shuushin 21-Apr-04/2:09 PM Reply
I like swollen and welling together.
[n/a] <~> › Shuushin 21-Apr-04/2:13 PM Reply
really? i think you might be due for a little physical activity. exercise (sic) those demons.
[8] Shuushin › <~> 21-Apr-04/2:21 PM Reply
Yeah, I'm about due - the rash is just about cleared up.
[8] Shuushin › <~> 21-Apr-04/2:25 PM Reply
Plus, none of my women will holdstill long enough.
[8] nentwined 21-Apr-04/2:20 PM Reply
velevt.

must needs add spellcheckerthingamyisthing. :/

I like "bonsai'd mountains" but don't see how it really fits. I want that in a poem all its own.

I like the image and feeling overall, though.

Oddly, tumefying did not mean at all what I was guessing it would.
[10] zodiac › nentwined 21-Apr-04/2:32 PM Reply
do not by any means put a spellchecker on this site, please.
[8] nentwined › zodiac 21-Apr-04/2:40 PM Reply
that would remove too much fun poking at folks' spelling?
[10] zodiac › nentwined 21-Apr-04/2:43 PM Reply
It would remove too much of the responsibility from their part, anyway.
[10] zodiac › nentwined 21-Apr-04/2:50 PM Reply
Besides, I find that I haven't rudely criticized anyone's spelling (besides holdstill's too/to) since my last pointless argument with Joe-joe (who totally asked for it.)
[n/a] <~> 21-Apr-04/2:35 PM Reply
i have to go to a work-related activity right now, but i will be back. richa--think metaphors for nature. think parallel structures. think 'as above, so below' and all that that implies, structurally.

[8] richa › <~> 22-Apr-04/1:37 AM Reply
'think metaphors for nature. think parallel structures. think 'as above, so below'

Think capitalising after a full stop??!!
[8] richa › <~> 22-Apr-04/1:44 AM Reply
I love it when you patronise me.

Of course I could not possibly have found this poeme utterly without voice and containing crystal lane swift esque abstractions.
[n/a] <~> › richa 22-Apr-04/5:52 AM Reply
i love it when you ooze contempt.