poemranker ::A Night-Croucher's Journey by Everyone

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Sonnet № 99447

A Night-Croucher's Journey

Member since 2003 · Posted 29 Apr 2004 · Edited 29 Apr 2004 · 4 comments

I grab the roll, hold tight, and off I run To the wood shed, my throat all gasps and yells. I cling and look below: the scent of dun Sweeter to me than finest mill'ner's smells. A heap of rounded pearls my bow'ls of rock Must soon augment or they may quite explode; It's coming near, tho' when it comes the shock Resounde from Vauxhall Bridge to Hampstead Road. A sudden breath. It drops. A thud of thunder. Dizzy and asham'd, I wipe my sweat soak'd brow, Mull o'er the coilings, grumbling as I blunder, "They say it's better out than in, and how!" Though stain'd and weaken'd, I must crouch back out Hoping none see with all this browne about.

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4 comments

[10] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 30-Apr-04/2:13 AM Reply
A good try, but all poemes about escaped negroes must end with their capture. Any poeme that doesn't highlight the futility of trying to escape is only likely to rekindle that awful twinkle they get in their eyes when they think "I'm not a slave - I'm a human being". I once had to shoot a whole herd because of that.
[10] zodiac › -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 30-Apr-04/3:42 AM Reply
[10] zodiac › -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 30-Apr-04/3:56 AM Reply
It was originally 'A Night-Watchman's Journey', but I couldn't fit enough about Night-watchmen in, so I dropped the idea. Suffice to say, the language is not at all Negro.
[10] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. › zodiac 30-Apr-04/8:12 AM Reply
I see. The use of the verb crouch (which -=Dark_Angel=- had coined in the commentary on The Negro) and the last line made me think it was about an escaped negro. I now realise it is merely an tale from the outhouse. You fail.