Re: Only I wish I could say.. by PunkyPanda	sliver 63.190.81.32	24-May-04/9:10 PM
the third stanza is um, no bueno, si? other than that, probably a 6 or 7.
Re: am i on speaker phone? good~ by peaceseeker	sliver 63.190.81.32	24-May-04/9:12 PM
I do like the imagery though, especially the foam spraying. 8
regarding some deleted poem...	sliver 63.190.81.32	24-May-04/9:13 PM
If she cooked the pancakes? mmm.
Re: screaming in silence by siyado	sliver 63.190.81.32	24-May-04/9:15 PM
Great! I love it. Especially the way you closed it.
Re: The devils win by firestar_2580	zodiac 65.161.41.48	25-May-04/4:57 AM
intense. truly stellar. 10
Re: and you by edwardo	zodiac 65.161.41.48	25-May-04/4:58 AM
the very picture of "stellar".
Re: Know youself and you who are ! by firestar_2580	zodiac 65.161.41.48	25-May-04/5:05 AM
the most stellar poetry i've ever read.
Re: and you by edwardo	edpeterson 68.79.15.13	25-May-04/5:27 AM
i like it
Re: my truth by francis nor capule	Enkidu 204.98.23.2	25-May-04/6:53 AM
Good pace, very even throughout, except for the first two lines which stutter a bit. S4 L1, 2ps in hapiness. -7-
regarding some deleted poem...	Enkidu 204.98.23.2	25-May-04/6:57 AM
What do you call something too deep? Ah! Yes, I have found the ABYSS whence many a poem have perished within! -5-
Re: The devils win by firestar_2580	Enkidu 204.98.23.2	25-May-04/7:01 AM
Spell Check - no Grammar Check - no Content Check - no Why do you even bother, this must have been written in a matter of forty-five seconds. My shitty comment took longer than that. -2-
regarding some deleted poem...	Enkidu 204.98.23.2	25-May-04/7:04 AM
Great, biting end. Excelling imagery. Greetings from MacFan -9- *10*(He's really into animals)
regarding some deleted poem...	Enkidu 204.98.23.2	25-May-04/7:06 AM
When you get to Hell, say hello to Satan for me, will you? -1- (for effort)
Re: Know youself and you who are ! by firestar_2580	Shuushin 147.154.235.52	25-May-04/7:37 AM
yes mon. de badness of dis spelling approaches art, yet stops short of the goal and flagellates itself. (half of this thought brought to you by Sebastian de Crob)
regarding some deleted poem...	Blindpoetry 68.106.171.15	25-May-04/9:47 AM
five
Re: and you by edwardo	<{Baba^Yaga}> 24.130.62.63	25-May-04/10:39 AM
Neato
regarding some deleted poem...	<{Baba^Yaga}> 24.130.62.63	25-May-04/10:42 AM
That was easy
regarding some deleted poem...	Shuushin 147.154.235.52	25-May-04/11:17 AM
:O(
Re: my truth by francis nor capule	Shuushin 147.154.235.52	25-May-04/11:26 AM
Is true, is true. [insert lenghthy diatribe about some tangentally related philisophical difference no-one will remember] I think the first person works pretty well - second person would probably not work at all... I wonder if third person would add anything?
regarding some deleted poem...	Shuushin 147.154.235.52	25-May-04/11:42 AM
cant - can't Your - You're the metaphors for clear are a bit simplistic, don't you think? And so many prepositional phrases, especially in the top half where you want substance - if you dump them you might find you have to do more showing, and that's not a bad thing. Maybe try the thing as third person; flesh out a character.