Re: Almost One by thepinkbunnyofdoom	sonawrote 152.163.252.72	2-Apr-04/7:29 PM
nice....
Re: love comes but once by francis nor capule	Spindle 205.188.116.140	2-Apr-04/7:35 PM
hehe, you caught me in a good mood. I just left my boyfriend's house and i miss him :-P being sappy can be fun
Re: Red Dress Wearing One Boot Cowboy by Lenore	Spindle 205.188.116.140	2-Apr-04/7:45 PM
nice title
Re: Price of an Affair by sonawrote	wilco 24.176.102.131	2-Apr-04/7:49 PM
-2 for self-loathing +8 for self-loathing
Re: It Won't Last Long by Spindle	wilco 24.176.102.131	2-Apr-04/7:50 PM
At first, I thought this was about joining the Army and going through boot camp....
regarding some deleted poem...	wilco 24.176.102.131	2-Apr-04/7:52 PM
Although you misspelled 'invisible', I think this is pretty damn good.
Re: Wartner by unouluvme	wilco 24.176.102.131	2-Apr-04/7:55 PM
fashizzle my nizzle.
Re: It Won't Last Long by Spindle	Lenore 64.252.105.194	2-Apr-04/8:04 PM
I feel the same way about my Uncle Sam.
Re: Don't Cry, Sharon Tate by wilco	Lenore 64.252.105.194	2-Apr-04/8:12 PM
I get it and it's good.
Re: Red Dress Wearing One Boot Cowboy by Lenore	zodiac 67.240.155.168	2-Apr-04/8:21 PM
Are you familiar with the short story "Brokeback Mountain" by Annie Proulx?
Re: Almost One by thepinkbunnyofdoom	Shuushin 207.5.211.177	2-Apr-04/8:47 PM
Why does this remind me of every song from 1976 to 1983?
Re: Shower by unouluvme	Shuushin 207.5.211.177	2-Apr-04/8:49 PM
a rewrite?
Re: Wartner by unouluvme	Shuushin 207.5.211.177	2-Apr-04/8:52 PM
That last bit has to go. And if you are going to offer up a rewrite, you should especially fix the spelling errors - there really is no good excuse for that.
Re: Summers Breath on my neck by unouluvme	Shuushin 207.5.211.177	2-Apr-04/8:53 PM
"green" once - certainly not three times. summer[']s
regarding some deleted poem...	Shuushin 207.5.211.177	2-Apr-04/8:57 PM
3 spelling errors - why? Four if you count "rumbled" which prolly shuld be "rumble" This is almost good, but the "plethora" of heavy modifiers drags it down.
Re: It Won't Last Long by Spindle	Shuushin 207.5.211.177	2-Apr-04/8:59 PM
Topical, I spose.
Re: Red Dress Wearing One Boot Cowboy by Lenore	Shuushin 207.5.211.177	2-Apr-04/9:00 PM
agreed, good title.
regarding some deleted poem...	Lenore 64.252.105.194	2-Apr-04/9:47 PM
If this were mine I would drop s1 and 2. They're not needed. It certainly captures how I feel coming out of a long cold winter.
regarding some deleted poem...	some deleted user 68.169.177.107	3-Apr-04/10:16 AM
I think s1 and s2 should stay. Maybe it's because I see a slipping under in the expanding lungs of spring, as death in the beginning of life. Nice!
Re: Cynical? by baughworm	some deleted user 68.169.177.107	3-Apr-04/10:28 AM
Yes, cynical. But the the last verse says a lot if you leave out "tell them that they're full." I don't see your point otherwise.