Re: Twilight Affair by thepinkbunnyofdoom	SupremeDreamer 66.53.165.186	30-Mar-04/1:37 PM
I think this piece would benefit from a good edit.. it looks to me that you've spilled emotion rather than crafted a decent piece. Dull use of language also.. you don't want to have a poem come off as over-emotional. But it does offer something to work with. No vote for now.
Re: Eyes by tre	Richard 172.144.52.7	30-Mar-04/6:15 PM
Just curious, were you stalking him? I like the imagery in the last line, a smile, like a lie, through the teeth :)
regarding some deleted poem...	jsd 147.9.165.67	30-Mar-04/6:37 PM
I love this. Thanks for welcoming me to poemranker!
Re: machiavellian by jsd	some deleted user 68.169.177.107	30-Mar-04/7:00 PM
A good blend of uncertainty and image. Welcome.
regarding some deleted poem...	SupremeDreamer 66.42.2.200	30-Mar-04/7:06 PM
You know, as much as I enjoy your ability to craft parodies, can't you find someone other than CLS to use as the punchline? Cuz thats been done to an extreme degree by just about everyone here on the ranker, it was a fad.. hrmm. I need someone to make fun of me.. damnit, darkie needs to do his job, I feel unfulfilled without his comic remarks and being called a "dunce" every possible way from sunday.. I must be bored out of my fucking skull. take this cursed nine you bastage.
Re: post-rock messiah by jsd	zodiac 67.240.192.135	30-Mar-04/8:19 PM
Good morning and welcome to poemranker! I thought I might take a crack at being nice to someone on his/her first day and not giving 'em a hard time - you know, razzing the new kid and all. Hey, speaking of crack, do you like Jim Morrison, because this poem kind of reminds me of him in several ways? Write back and let me know what you think!
regarding some deleted poem...	Stephen Robins 213.146.148.199	31-Mar-04/6:16 AM
How and why are you so creative?
Re: post-rock messiah by jsd	Bobjim 212.135.1.53	31-Mar-04/6:27 AM
I was going to read this poem, but I got bored after the 3rd line. Still, I'll give you a 5 for trying.
Re: Once Upon A Time ( a senyru ) by Mr Pig	Bobjim 212.135.1.57	31-Mar-04/6:31 AM
I agree completely with all of the above. My ignorance in this matter is not at all obvious and I have a highly enlightened knowledge of what you're talking about.
Re: Astronomical by DeadtotheWorld	zodiac 67.240.211.7	31-Mar-04/8:27 AM
Running a Bible-Code-inspired equidistant letter search on this poem, I found: 7 instances of the word ANUS, 248 of ASS, 10 of ARSE, 12 TWATS, 5 CUNTS, 1 LORD, 1 SATAN, 1 PENIS, & 1 GUFF. I now firmly believe that though you may be dead to the world, you're utterly alive to the heavenly wisdom of Jesus. We'll be in touch.
regarding some deleted poem...	zodiac 67.240.192.67	31-Mar-04/9:29 AM
Hi. I did a Bible-Code equidistant letter search on this and found some interesting things: 231 occurences of ASS, 17 of ARSE, 56 of CUM, 6 TWATs, 5 of LORD, 2 of ANGEL, 29 GAYS, 2 MUFFS, 1 SUCK, 2 BLOWS, 1 JESU & 2 SATANS. Call me crazy, but I would like to suggest that your 'stream of consciousness' is a telepathic bat-phone straight to the underground lair of Jesus himself.
regarding some deleted poem...	SupremeDreamer 204.31.175.88	31-Mar-04/12:26 PM
I liked it up until "and hope to catch a rainbow and taste it on our lips." With that ending, it made me think I read an artistic ad for Skittles. Thats bad. Blessed with eight.
Re: Over Simplification by Richard	SupremeDreamer 204.31.175.88	31-Mar-04/12:38 PM
The beginning being more padded and the middle/ending more minimalistic makes this a bit of an odd read.. plus its a little vague how the stanzas relate to each other. Seems like you wanted to embellish the first stanza, then along the way got lazy. Its promising though, I think you could build this into ace material.. then again, thats just my opinion. A seven for now.
regarding some deleted poem...	Richard 172.151.64.90	31-Mar-04/12:38 PM
It's safer this way I think, it can be the perfect love, internal, without complications. Love on the inside... Good Job!
regarding some deleted poem...	fair12 66.84.225.2	31-Mar-04/12:51 PM
skittles - ooh.. meant it as catching breakfast - as in trout - not .... that. Will definately give the end some consideration for change. Thanks for the 8.
Re: Over Simplification by Richard	baughworm 24.145.234.130	31-Mar-04/2:26 PM
I agree. It needs more work, but good start
Re: A wicked rose grows in God's grapevine. by SupremeDreamer	baughworm 24.145.234.130	31-Mar-04/2:30 PM
Some of your references seem a little to cliche. The wind always whispers and caresses. Everyone's spirit has a beast. Try some different language. Especially the first line. It was a bit of a turn off. The end was much better.
Re: matador by ThePariahDog	baughworm 24.145.234.130	31-Mar-04/2:32 PM
too wordy for my tastes.
Re: The Hell With Growing Up by wilco	baughworm 24.145.234.130	31-Mar-04/2:42 PM
how old are you that you have wasted away to such a tremendous degree?
Re: stains by calliope	baughworm 24.145.234.130	31-Mar-04/2:45 PM
I would change the title. I like the poem.