Re: Voices by abcmonkey78	some deleted user 68.169.177.107	23-Mar-04/11:19 AM
Too much focus on rhyme, not enough on content.
Re: Dissenting voice by richa	richa 81.178.216.23	23-Mar-04/11:32 AM
Just to clear things up, the first verse is not a quote, I would have credited a quote. The marks were just to signify an outside voice.
Re: Quiet Lakes by Fear of Garbage	wilco 24.176.102.131	23-Mar-04/1:16 PM
I like this one.
regarding some deleted poem...	some deleted user 68.169.177.107	23-Mar-04/2:40 PM
I think "you" in the first verse and "he" in the second and beyond are the same boy, now grown, but it's confusing. I would stick with "you" all the way through. You have some good images of passage here, and some cliche's - blue lagoon, the depth of a mother’s heart. Somehow "shallows of my heart" is contradictory to the theme.
regarding some deleted poem...	richa 81.178.205.253	23-Mar-04/2:48 PM
'uninhibited by social normatives' somehow does not belong in a poem. couldn't you get him to drink your beauty first? you've started smoking? infantile roses?
regarding some deleted poem...	richa 81.178.205.253	23-Mar-04/2:55 PM
Nice flow and image. Is it important that we do not know who the 'he' is until the last few verses?
Re: Dreams by Tiffany	Tiffany 198.81.26.47	23-Mar-04/2:58 PM
i wrote this because sometimes i feel like i get lost im my dreams, both good and bad.
Re: We Need To Buy Socks, Michael by Fear of Garbage	Katzclear 12.222.55.183	23-Mar-04/2:59 PM
the picture it paints for me is that the government is racist, and the high flying leaders are looking down upon people and laughing at them
Re: Quiet Lakes by Fear of Garbage	richa 81.178.205.253	23-Mar-04/3:03 PM
Like I can read korean and symbols on my wrists and the idea of poison from a mercury thermometer. A couple of picks: No real need for 'I wonder if this site has spoiled me' the symbolism works without. Don't really understand how this follows on: 'Instead of dancing, Getting drunk and throwing up, There are imaginists.'
Re: Dreams by Tiffany	Katzclear 12.222.55.183	23-Mar-04/3:08 PM
hey tiff this is really good! a lot of times i get bored really fast and can't even read it, but it really held my attention. good job!
Re: Thinking by Tiffany	Katzclear 12.222.55.183	23-Mar-04/3:09 PM
it's got a good foundation, but I got a little lost.
Re: Dreams by Tiffany	some deleted user 68.169.177.107	23-Mar-04/3:17 PM
I would call this free verse, since the rules for sonnets are rather strict. Good start, and keep dreaming.
Re: where to go by AskittlesK	AskittlesK 68.164.13.254	23-Mar-04/3:53 PM
is poetry.com a scam? I've been hearing it is.. and I've been hearing it isn't .. which is it?!
regarding some deleted poem...	Shuushin 207.5.211.177	23-Mar-04/5:03 PM
Spongebob would be proud.
regarding some deleted poem...	some deleted user 68.169.177.107	23-Mar-04/5:51 PM
Some nice sentiments for Bob, but for those of us who don't know either of you, it comes accross plain, lacking intrigue and interest. That should be "I have drawn."
Re: Direct Current by horus8	zodiac 152.18.33.193	23-Mar-04/5:18 PM
Do you have a band, or is it just you on stage? I'm genuinely curious, and can't tell from the reviews I've read. I wish I could hear your 'material' but I lack all kinds of capability on my home computer and don't have speakers or mp3/wav players on my work computer. If you send me a CD for free, though, I'll let you keep the rest of the standard fan pack, including official Jeremi B denim-jacket patch, sunvisor, and signed glossy head-shot (I mean glossy shot, not glossy... never mind.) Also, do you ever come to the East Coast, or is it just the Strip and such? Really, I'm actually interested. -10-
regarding some deleted poem...	Shuushin 207.5.211.177	23-Mar-04/6:19 PM
yet time has not forgotten, soft cotton
regarding some deleted poem...	some deleted user 68.169.177.107	23-Mar-04/6:46 PM
Well done! I feel her part, the connection to her mean father through (you?) Surely not. But you say "my face" so I guess so. A great portrayal of so many women who seek their abusive fathers in their lovers.
Re: Ramblings of Senility by Lifeboatman	versus_u 203.76.218.149	24-Mar-04/12:05 AM
when im 80, ill prolly sit by the beach on mornings and feast myself with the sight of sultry lifeboatmen.. ;) hey man, missed you!
regarding some deleted poem...	zodiac 67.240.192.201	24-Mar-04/6:03 AM
fuck you man the physical plane rules!!!!! WOOOOOOHOOOOOO!!!! PHYSICAL PLANE ALL THE WAY IN 04 - YEEAH!!!!